Renegade for Life
by BakaAndTensaiProductionz
Summary: I'm not a nice person. If I know you, I most likely hate you. I'm a selfish person who only cares about my own damn self. No, it's not because of some sad back story. I just choose to be this way, and I enjoy it. I'm Umeko Haruno, mean, uncaring, manipulative, renegade, me. (SI with a Twist)
1. Introduction

**I told myself I wouldn't do a self-insert. **

**But here I am.**

**But instead of being an Uzumaki, or an Uchiha. **

**Instead of being perfect.**

**I decided to put every bad trait of mine into one person. Even if I slightly have it, my new OC has that trait. I gave her more bad traits than good traits. Just something that I wanted to try, and see how it goes. I don't even know how often I'll be updating but hey, you never know, right?**

**So, here we go.**

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**Warning: This FanFiction should not be taken seriously (especially the Chibi Arc which starts next chapter). It will be making a lot of jokes pertaining to the real world (EX: Winnie The Pooh) and I do those on purpose to make you laugh XD**

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I really, honestly I would be damned to hell.

I didn't act like a bad kid, believe me.

I was my parents pride and joy.

I did everything I could to please the people around me.

Straight A's through school.

President of Student Council.

Valedictorian.

Even doing some bull shit speech at Graduation.

I was on my way to become a doctor, which was what I didn't want to be in the slightest.

Doing everything for others made me feel as if I wasn't truly anyone.

It made me just believe that life sucked, and death wouldn't be much worse.

I thought that I was going to hell when I died.

Even though I smiled a lot, I wished death on more than half of my shallow "friends".

I was terrible to this poor boy who always drew anime characters, even though I did the same thing while I was at home alone.

I had a secret love for all things anime.

Fruits Basket was my love.

Fairy Tail was my life.

Naruto was my soul.

But, I hid it so that I keep the illusion that I was the perfect girl.

And when I died, I was so angry.

I would go to hell before I could tell my parents my true feelings.

Let out my true self.

But, I guess it was all for the best…

I found myself in silence, but hearing a constant beating.

I just let myself relax.

"Well, I guess I'll be chilling here for the rest of eternity." I thought to myself.

It was warm, and very relaxing I might add.

Suddenly, I was forced out.

I was pushed out of some hole into someone's arms.

"I guess there wasn't anymore room in hell…" I thought as I began screaming.

I noticed that there was another baby screaming in the room, so I thought someone else was having a baby in there, or I was a twin.

Or a triplet.

Or a quadruplet.

Oh for the love of god, I so hoped that wasn't in some Jon and Kate plus 8 situation.

The next few months was a mixture of coming in and out of consciousness. Sleeping alot, eating a lot, oh and shitting those damn diapers.

Soon, my vision was less blurry.

I was often taken care of by the woman I assumed was my mom with blond hair and green eyes.

She seemed nice, but I was willing to bet she wouldn't stay like that. Once I was able to walk and talk, she'd change into some other person.

"Kizashi! Isn't Umeko just adorable?!" my mother said.

I was passed to a man with dull pink hair and green eyes.

I gave him an odd look, almost trying to figure out why he looked so familiar.

"Yes! Who would have thought we'd be so lucky to have adorable twins!" he said with a smile.

"We?! We're you the one who carried them around inside of you for nine months?!" Mother asked.

"Hey, I helped as much as you did!" he retorted.

Suddenly, a crying came from the other room.

"Sakura!" he said, running to take care of her.

He came back with the now calm pink haired, green eyed child.

My eyes widened.

"Umeko, meet your big sister, Sakura." Father said.

'When there's no more room in Hell, I get reborn to the other hell... WHAT THE HELL?!' I thought as I began to scream as if my life depended on it.


	2. Chibi Arc I

_Another day being the one who defeated death... _I thought as I woke up from my slumber.

But I knew the day would probably be boring, unless I met some people I could fuck with.

Other than that, seriously, being a baby is boring as fuck.

All you do is lay down, sleep, eat, shit, and deal with weird fucks pinching your cheeks.

So, because of this, I began trying to walk and potty train myself at a very young age so I could run away and be able to wipe my own ass. Though it resulted in bruises, falling in, wetness, strange smells, and weird looks from my parents, it was something that had to be done.

Me, Umeko Haruno, the one who beat death, was not going to be beaten by something as measly as motor skills and bladder control. So, at sixteen months old I was walking, reading, but not talking. I was enjoying cussing at everyone in English and them just cooing at the superior cuteness.

"Okay, Umeko! Say Mommy!"

"Or Daddy!"

"Shut up, Kizashi!"

I decided I would say my first words the next day after this took place, on my mother's birthday.

I considered saying 'Mommy'.

But it would be more fun just fucking with her.

"Sakura, Umeko. Be good for the Genin team that's watching you!" Mother said.

I gave a smirk as Sakura just waved happily.

_'Cute kid. Hope she doesn't grow up to be an annoying little fuck.' _I thought.

"Hi there again, Umeko!" Iruka said with a fake smile as Mother walked out the door.

_'Time for another day of fucking with canon characters. My hobby.'_ I thought as I smirked at the boy.

"Iruka, why do you hate Umeko so much? She's just a kid." Kotetsu said picking me up.

_'Oh for the love of god, please tell me washed his hands. If he gets his pig like grossness on me, I swear to god once I turn into my god-like kunoichi self in the future, I will get my revenge!' _I thought.

"I prefer Sakura. She's a sweetheart. Umeko is planning to kill me!" Iruka exclaimed.

"Riiiight... And Sakura here is the sadistic love child of Ibiki Morino." Izumo said holding up a drooling Sakura.

She burst into giggles at Iruka's face.

I pointed at Iruka.

"Fuck wad." I said.

All three boy's eyes opened really wide.

"UMEKO! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT WORD?!" they all yelled causing Sakura to look at them with confusion.

"Iruka." I said with a smile.

"THATS BULL!" Iruka yelled as his teammates glared at him.

I gave him a glare and smirk, egging him on.

"I'm telling you guys! I never said anything like that in front of her!" Iruka said.

"_Fuck wad! Bastard mother fucker! Bitch ass with shit! With a blimey bastard in the mists of mother fucker fuckery!" _I sang.

"I tell Mommy you teach me song!" I said with a smile.

The three boys looked at each other.

"Oh please don't!"

"I'll give you candy if you don't!"

"Umeko, you really hate us don't you?"

_'Oh fucking with people is a fine form of entertainment.' _I thought.

"Sakura I teach words to!" I said wiggling out of the arms of Kotetsu to Izumo who had Sakura.

"Can see Big Sister?" I asked tilting me head.

"NO!" they all yelled.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I cried.

Me crying caused Sakura to cry too.

"Okay! Just NO, I mean, NO teaching Sakura any words." Izumo said putting down my older sister.

"Sakura!" I said pinching her cheeks.

She looked at me innocently not saying a word. Just giggling.

"Say Bitch."

"Bit-" two of the genin were instantly covering out mouths.

"No. No! No saying those words!" Kotetsu said.

"Mommy want words." I said.

"Not those!" Iruka exclaimed.

"I'M HOOOOOOOOOOME!" mother sang bursting in the house.

"My god, that meeting was boring! Where's my darling daughters?" she asked.

I ran to her grinning as Sakura crawled right at my heel.

The three boys looked so nervous.

"I trust you three took good care of my darlings while I was at the council meeting, right?" Mother asked sweetly.

They nodded.

"Mommy!" I said with a smile.

_'Build her up to think she has a good child just to break it down to nothingness when I turn out to be a delinquent.'_ I thought. Seeing her heartbroken would be a fun, interesting journey.

"Umeko! You said your first word!" Mother said with a grin.

"Ruka taught!" I said.

Mother smiled at the surprised Iruka.

"Wait, that was her first word? Why was she talk-"

"Shut up, Kotetsu."

"Really!? Thank you Iruka! I'll be sure to tell your sensei about this!" Mother said.

"y-Yeah, right." Iruka said rubbing the back of his head.

"Bitch." Sakura said.

Our ecstatic mother's face suddenly dropped into a surprised expression.

'_My god.' _I thought as I began giggling like a maniac.

"S-Sakura? Where did you learn that?" Mother said with a fake smile.

"Ume." Sakura said.

I gave her a look that obviously meant, 'Thanks for throwing me under the bus'.

Yet she returned it with supreme innocence.

"Ruka taught!" I said with a giggle.

"IRUKAAAAAAA!"

All three boys yelled, "RUUUUUN!" as Mother chased them with me in her arms cheering her on.

Yes, fucking with canon characters was a true pastime for the superior god like beings like me.

* * *

I just wanted to do some filler, I call this the Chibi Arc! Since Umeko is just a baby. Next chapter will probably be a time skip and upmost fun for the Haruno Sister's first day at the park! More of Umeko's god complex and Sakura's total innocence and lack of knowing whats going on Umeko's strange head.

So, with that said, thanks for 12 followers on the first chapter! Means a lot! I plan on Umeko becoming a meaner, more narcissistic, and make her into her own person.


	3. Chibi Arc II

**Links to Art in Description**

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"Mommy, I really don't wanna go to the park." Sakura whispered as she held our mother's hand walking towards Konoha Park. It's a big park with a bunch of trees and places to play.

"Come on, Sakura! it won't be that bad!" Mother said smiling.

"Mommy's using the park as an excuse to check out Mr. Yamanaka. We can't deprive her the right to her own to fantasize." I said.

"UMEKO! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?! AND WHO DID YOU GET THAT MOUTH OF YOUR'S FROM! CAUSE IT SURE WASN'T ME!" Mother yelled.

"Mommy, we're being stared at. And you talk very loudly, so I heard you." I said.

Mother began twitching, seeming to be restraining herself from hitting me on the top of the head.

_'Wow, Sakura sure ended up like her mother in canon. But not if I can help it.' _I thought.

Actually, I really didn't really plan on changing canon. Everything ends up fine anyway, so what's the point? Plus, the only time I would most likely die would be during Pein's attack, but he brings everyone back to life, so I'll be fine. I'm not worried really about the world. I'm the girl who has surpassed god, why would I need to focus on something as measly as humans? Yet, I hate to admit I was beginning to actually to care for Sakura. She was an innocent, cute girl. And really I had narrowed down what I wanted to do with her.

One of them was to take her under my wing to become a bad ass, and maybe my right hand woman when I'm on my godly throne.

Or, I could protect her innocence and beat up anyone who tried to hurt her.

Buuuuuut, the first one would involve effort. So, I decided to make sure she doesn't turn into some annoying bitch like our mother.

Having two mom's around would suck really bad...

"Umeko!"

"UMEKO! DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME!"

I looked up at our mother with an unamused look.

"What?" I asked.

Mother's eye began twitching.

"W-Watch your sister, and don't talk to strangers. I'm going to hang out with the moms." Mother said, continuing to twitch.

"Good parenting, Mommy. Leaving your two kids that are five, I might add, to defend themselves. Hopefully you don't get tried for child abandonment!" I said waving.

She gave me an angry look which I totally ignored as I walked away.

I climbed up a tree and began to nap.

'Hmph. Making me leave the house, in the middle of my nap, just to have to sleep in a tree like a peasant. I am god! I don't deserve this!' I thought laying back.

"TORAAAA! GET BACK HERE!"

"SHUT UP! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP, ASSWIPES!" I yelled at the genin passing by.

"WHO SAID THAT?!" he yelled.

I pointed at the opposite direction of the cat.

The boy ran away in that direction as the cat ran off.

"Good luck getting that damn cat back, BITCH!" I sang.

As I was dozing off I heard some annoying yelling.

"THE APOCALYPSE SURE AS HELL BE HAPPENING, IF ITS NOT I'LL KILL ALL YOU LOUD FUCKS MYSELF!" I yelled snapping my eyes open.

"FOREHEAD! FOREHEAD! LOOK AT THE UGLY FOREHEAD!" the annoying yell said.

I twitched as I realized who they were talking about.

"Time to kick some brat's ass for waking god almighty up." I said.

I jumped down from the tree and followed the yelling and sobs.

"P-Please st-stop!" Sakura cried.

"PLEASE STOP!" they mocked.

"Ahem. SHUT UP FUCKERS! ONE AND ALL! THE ALMIGHTY GOD IS HERE TO KICK ALL YOUR DAMNED LOUD BITCH ASSES INTO A GOD DAMN DELUSIONAL COMA WHERE YOU WATCH YOUR MOMS AND MAITO GAI FUCK EACH OTHER IN THE ASS!" I yelled.

The three little girls turned around and glared at me.

"Are you talking baby talk? Because I didn't understand half of what you just said. And I have a 3rd Year vocabulary." one of them said.

"Oh, really? What a fucking achievement, worm." I said raising my nose at the three girls.

"Shut up you little weird eyed three year old!" the other girl said.

"Wow, your the dumb one, aren't you? Then she's the pretty one, then this is the weird one that will possibly kill the both of you when your older. Or she'll try to get in your panties." I said.

"Wh-What?!" the girls said.

"Nothing, nothing, just doing some EPIC foreshadowing. Now, do my favor and leave my sister alone." I said.

"Oh? This thing has a sister? I'm terrified! Frankly, your as scary as blade of grass." the first girl said.

"Actually that fear is a real. It's called hastenburaphobia. A sad, sad disease. Anyway, you should really take my advice and leave her alone." I said. Don't ask how I know about hastenburaphobia.

"You don't scare me!" the second girl said.

"Yeah, I can totally take you on!" the first girl said.

"You both are about as frightening as Winnie the mother fucking Pooh." I said.

"I like Winnie the Pooh." the third girl whispered.

"Let's fight!" the first girl said.

"Hmph. Before we fight, worms. I would like to tell you where babies come from. Where you and I both come from. It's called the Birds and the Bees." I said with a smirk.

Sakura immediately covered her ears, since I've told her in the past, if you hear birds and the bees come out of my mouth, cover your ears and don't listen.

After a long detailed explanation, I left it off with, "And out of 100,000 sperm cells you were the one's that were born."

All three girls ran away screaming for their mothers.

"Hmph. Leaving mental scars beats physical scars any day. Though I'll eventually have to learn to defend myself... I can do that later." I said doing my famous procrastination, and helping the sobbing Sakura up on her feet.

"Ume!" Sakura cried hugging me.

"Yeah, yeah, get off. Your getting human juices on me..." I said trying to get out of her hug.

She wouldn't let go.

"Get off." I growled.

She was silent as she held on to me.

"God damn it, Sakura." I said simply as I sat down unmoving until mother got there.

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**Sorry, schools starting tomorrow for me so, I had time to write a short chapter before going to bed. So... Here it is! **

**And by the way, 18 followers in 2 chapters?!**

**That's awesome!**

**Anyway, as she gets older I will make her worse of a person. It's just, I like the idea of her only caring about herself and almost refusing to believe that she cares for Sakura. I bet if you asked Umeko why she defended Sakura, she'd say because she'll one day be my assistant when I rule the world. **

**So, with that said, I'm gonna go to sleep! Wish me luck on my first day of sophomore year in high school! **

**Leave a review if you liked!**


	4. Chibi Arc III

"Alright this book says, uppercut jab, then do push ups... About 200 of them. God, damn! That's fuckin insane bull shit! I ain't doin' dis shit! Nah uh. No way. FUCKING HELL!" I yelled as I kept looking at the martial arts book.

The book was called, "Taijutsu for Untalented Fools."

It said that even a fool that can barely read could learn to defend themselves with these book.

I was the fool that could read, but I really didn't feel like doing it so I just looked at the pictures and numbers.

"Fuck it, this shit makes me tired just looking at it." I said.

"Man, why the hell do I even wanna be a ninja? It's too much hard work and teamwork bull shit. I can barely stand my own sister because she's so fuckin' pathetic." I said as I sat down.

"Why can't I just pull a Tsunade and just use chakra infused punches?" I asked myself.

That's when a light bulb suddenly appeared over my head. Wait, this isn't an American comic book... Never mind, but you get the picture.

"Wait! Sakura naturally had perfect chakra control! I bet I got that too! Me being the one who is god of course I do! I bet I'll even have a secret Haruno kekkei genkai, then who knows maybe I'll be a full blown Mary fucking Sue!" I said.

I looked at the nearby tree.

"HAHA! CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY, TREE! YOU SHALL BE THE ONE THAT I, GOD HERSELF, SHALL CLIMB AND BE ON MY FIRST STEP TO SUPREME POWER! FIRST POWER, THEN THE WORLD!" I yelled at the tree.

_'Look at that measly tree, I'll climb to the top of that one, then I'll get the biggest one in the park, IN ONE DAY!' _I thought.

"LET'S GO!" I yelled running at the tree as fast as my six year old legs could take me.

I got closer and closer, jumped up, felt my feet touch the bark, then I felt my face touch the bark.

"MOTHER OF FUCKING FUCK IN THE NAME OF A MERCEDES BENZ IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ASS WITH GLITTER AND SHEA BUTTER!" I yelled holding my sore red nose.

I felt tears about to come out of my green eyes.

"Ar-Are you okay?" a young boy's voice asked.

I quickly wiped the tears out of my eyes.

"HA HA HA! YOU THINK I THE GREAT UMEKO COULD BE HURT BY A DAMN TREE! YOUR MISTAKEN, HUMAN!" I said opening my eyes to see the young boy that was talking.

Blond hair.

Blue eyes.

Whiskers.

My eyes quickly widened as I quickly slapped myself.

"Oh shit, I hit my head so hard I'm seeing shit. Man, Mom's gonna be pissed." I said.

The boy was silent.

"Hmph. Well mind, or whatever, I'm fine. So, yeah." I said awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck. Quirk I seemed to have kept from my past life.

"Well, that's good." he said shyly, looking down at his feet.

_'I should probably try to be friends with him, make his childhood a little better...'_

_'Too much work, he'll be alright...'_

I got up and grabbed my book.

"Here ya go." I said handing him the book.

"Wha-what?" he asked.

"You wanna be a ninja, right?" I asked.

He slowly nodded.

"Better get to studying so you won't be a complete loser." I said, turning around and beginning to walk away.

"Why?!" he asked.

"DON'T QUESTION ME! FEEL LUCKY THAT I, GOD HERSELF, CHOOSE TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU, LOW CLASS RUNT!" I yelled.

I gave him a smirk before continuing to walk away.

'_Wait a second...'_

"I FUCKING GAVE HIM MY ONLY TAIJUTSU BOOK!" I yelled.

"Well, now I did something nice, so whenever he becomes Hokage or something maybe he'll pay me back with money or something... That will be the day..." I muttered daydreaming about swimming in money. Buckets of money, pools of money.

Buying everything!

Dango!

TV!

Maybe publish Batman or something!

Or better yet, Attack on Titan this shit!

Make the Attack on Titan a book in this world, then make even MORE MONEY!

Yes, who knows, maybe whenever I take over the world as it's god, maybe I'll make him my direct underling. After Sakura of course." I said.

I smirked thinking about the future.

"I know why I wanna be a ninja now. It's all clear to me to me now! So I can become a Jonin, and go on S-Rank missions, and... MAKE MORE MONEY! AND HAVE ACCESS TO HUGE JUTSU, PLUS I'LL BE SO BADASS THAT I'LL GET MY OWN TITLE! BEFORE THEY ALL BOW TO ME AND CALL ME GOD, THEY SHALL CALL ME BAMFF! BAD ASS MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER! Okay, not really, that name really sucks. BUT I HAVE INITIATIVE! Now, I need to go ask Mom for money so I can buy more books." I said getting louder and softer.

"And dango... I have a huge craving for it... But I don't have my period yet... That's fuckin' weird. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

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"Ume! Ume!" Sakura yelled as I got home from training a few days after my encounter with Naruto.

"What is it, Sakura?" I asked.

"M-Mommy said that you can join the Academy!" Sakura said with a smile.

"M-Me? What about you, Sakura?" I asked.

"I don't know, I'm not really that strong. And I doubt the kids will like me." Sakura whispered looking down at her shuffling feet.

_'Damn it, she's the older sister physically, do I really have to give her a pep talk? She HAS to go, since I don't wanna be on the shit storm Team 7. She has to do it.' _I thought.

"Well, Sakura, people are all as-er-jerks when they don't respect you. They think they can walk all over you, use you for their own reasons, treat you like scum, garbage, as if you are only equal to dirt in this world. Worthless. But when your a ninja, and your powerful, people will respect you. They won't dare be mean to you out of sheer fear or respect. And if they do disrespect you, you don't have to worry about not being able to defend yourself. You don't have to run. You can kick their butts right there and they won't step out of line with you again. And if they do, their doing it out of sheer stupidity and you can kick their butt over and over and over again. So, just think about it. The first day of school's in a few days, Sakura. You'll do great." I said squeezing her shoulder and giving her a smile.

She slightly blushed and widened her eyes.

I walked in the house slightly gagging.

_'God damn, that was terrible. Man, that bullshit coming out of my mouth was mostly from something I'd hear in an anime, them I just got into it. Damn, I hate these motivational speeches and shit. But if I know the Ninjaverse, I'm gonna be hearing and giving a lot of bull shit speeches. Damn, why couldn't be in an anime about violence and gore and not friendship. I'd taken fuckin' Future Diary or Attack on Titan over this! Well, maybe not Attack on Titan. Them titans are ugly. I can't be in an ugly body if with my godly soul. Bitch, my soul is too perfect to be in a Titan!'_

* * *

Just got home from the second day of school and began typing, aaaaand, I'm tired. So I need to take a nice little siesta, and maybe I'll do a double update today!

And, 25 followers, with three chapters out?!

That's crazy!

And 7 Reviews, seriously, thank you guys!

It's really cool that you guys are liking my story. And I think I'll reply to all of the Reviews up until now right down here, okay?

* * *

Himeno Kazehito: Wow, you're awesome! You always review no matter what I'm writing and it seriously means a lot that you always do your best to review! Thank you so, so much!

**Umeko: Thanks for commenting on my superior enjoyableness. Yes, yes that is a word. But god damn it, I'm fuckin' amazing, you don't have to tell me that. But the shriveled up heart of mine sure loves to here a good compliment sometimes.**

Guest (I don't know which Guest is who, so the guest that reviewed in chapter 2): I updated XD Thanks for leaving a review, it's really cool you did that, ^-^

easilyaddictedgirl: I THE ALMIGHTY, BAKA-CHAN, GIVES YOU CHAPTER 4!

**Umeko: OI, BAKA-CHAN! DON'T STEAL MY THING YA DIRTY HOITY TOITY FUCKIN' BITCH ASS-ahem. Sorry 'bout that. Well, not really, but ANYWAY! Damn right I'm funny as hell! I'm hilarious and you'll quote everything I say up in this bitch! Hell someone should make a bible out of me! It shall be called... UMEKO! HELL YEAH! I should have Sakura do that when she's my assistant... **

lolololololo: XD I love your review! It's the first time someone's called me a bitch in the reviews! But, I'm the coolest bitch you'll ever meet. Well, I don't know... I haven't met many cool bitches... And I solemnly swear not to be a good bitch, mmkay? XD I kid, I kid! Your review was hilarious, and I appreciate it!

**Umeko: I'm coolest bitch you'll ever meet, and I think everyone here knows that. **

Guest (The one that reviewed Chapter 3): Thanks! I certainly try to make it kick ass! ^-^

**Umeko: I make it kick ass, Baka-chan. Don't forget to tell yourself that every time someone reviews! Their here for me, their god! Well, unless you worship Jashin or Kira or Madoka or Akito or Lady Goddess of the Land or the green Kami or Goku or Arceus...**

ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed. And every review will be replied with an additional reply from Umeko, whether you want her to or not.

Because, I'm trying to be unique here, I guess... ^-^

Thanks for reading, and hope to see your review!

**Umeko: Question of the Day, what do you think would be a good theme song for me? Include Baka-chan too if you can, cause she's pouting at me... STOP LOOKING AT ME AUTHOR WOMAN!**

***LINKS TO ART ON MY PROFILE***


	5. Chibi Arc IV

"HURRY UP, SAKURA!" I yelled as we began to run out the door.

Our mother waved us off yelling, "Have a good day sweeties!"

"Bye, Mommy!" Sakura called.

"Later, Mom!" I said.

"Hey, Ume, are you excited?" Sakura asked with her big grin.

"Yep." I said continuing to walk.

"Do you think the girls will like my outfit? Mommy says that the first thing people see is your outfit and they judge you from it! She said you dress like a boy, so they'll think your a weird cross dresser!" Sakura said in an innocent tone.

I instantly twitched.

"Sakura? You realize that is insulting, right?" I asked, trying not to pounce on the innocent girl.

"Mommy said it first, so I thought it would be okay... I'm sorry, Ume..." Sakura said pouting.

"Your lucky this god is forgiving, or I swear I would SMITE YOU RIGHT NOW!" I said instantly putting my hands back in my pockets.

I looked down at my clothes. I had a white Chinese style long sleeve shirt on and brown baggy capris.

"I don't see what that woman's deal is... Insulting my clothes just cause I refused to where that ugly dress that she had picked out for us making us be all matchy cute wittle twinzies. Give me a fucking break." I grumbled, immediately stopping and looking at Sakura who was looking down at her dress.

"Is it really ugly, Ume?" she asked giving me her big puppy dog eyes.

I happen to hate puppies.

Okay, that was a total lie. But if you asked me if I liked puppies in front of people, I would deny it fiercely right to your face.

"Hmph. Just put your hair up in a pony tail or something. Stop trying to hide your damned forehead. Putting your bangs there equals to putting a sign right there saying 'Tease me please, I'm a weak target!'. And I swear if you start to fan girl over a crush or something, I'm disowning you and never talking to you again. Understand?" I said.

She quickly nodded.

"Here's a rubber band. Put your hair in a ponytail, and walk like you have the least bit of pride, will ya?" I said throwing her the ponytail.

Though she dropped the ponytail when I threw it to her, and put her hair up, she still looked like a total weakling.

"Damn, there's somethings I guess I just can't fix." I muttered.

I looked up at the sun.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT! WE'RE GONNA BE LAAAATE!" I yelled running, pulling a yelling Sakura along with me.

* * *

"Introductions, introductions! Any volunteers for introducing themselves first?" Iruka asked.

There was complete silence.

"How about you!"

"I-I am Sakura Haruno... Please t-take care of me." Sakura said with a bright blush on her face.

"Okay, now, how about the dark pink haired g- Umeko?" Iruka said in horror.

"My name's Umeko, I am a higher being than all of you, and I frankly don't like any of you. Not for any specific reasons, just for being alive. Nothing more, nothing less. You all can forever more go fuck yourselves right in the down under!" I said with a mock cheeriness.

"And if I catch any of you teasing my sister over there, I'll end your pathetic lives, since I am god, and I will abuse my superior power maliciously." I said with a total serious look on my face.

Iruka was silent for a moment before yelling, "SIT OUTSIDE, UMEKO!"

"Don't tell me what to do, worm." I said sticking my nose up and walking out of the room.

I stood outside for a few minutes when suddenly, none other than Naruto came outside.

"Your that girl!" he said pointing at me after a few moments of silence.

"Listen, boy. Just because I gave you one act of kindness doesn't mean you can suddenly just talk to me. I don't enjoy wasting my breath on humans." I said.

"Th-Thank you." he whispered.

I finally looked at him.

"If you really want to thank me, become a good and famous ninja. Then, pay me back with much of your fortune and political protection which I know one day you will have to spare." I said.

"What?" he asked tilting his head.

"You owe me, and you will pay me back when your famous. Until then, you don't talk to me or act like you know me. It's nothing personal, I just don't like you or this world." I said.

He then went silent.

I looked over and saw him crying.

_'I totally should comfort him, be his friend. But he already owes me, so that much has benefited me. But, being a friend to him won't benefit me. Hm, I won't be his friend myself, but I may pull some strings, and give someone the confidence to talk to him, yes. It won't benefit me but it will make this bad feeling in my stomach go away. Then I won't have to be friends with a lowly being such as a canon character.'_

I got a smirk on my face as I began plotting.

_'This will work...' _I thought.

As we escorted back into the classroom my eyes settled on a girl with light violet eyes and dark midnight blue hair.

I gave her a smirk.

_'This will be entertaining...'_

* * *

Oh! Looks like Umeko is not going to try to befriend Naruto!

She's must be wanting go Shadow King and pull some strings to benefit herself.

Ha! Gotta love you, Umeko! Even if you are kinda mean...

TEEHEE!

* * *

Himeno Kazehito: Thanks for the review Himeno-san! Love the song you chose, by the way!

**Umeko: YEAH KICKIN' PEOPLE'S ASSES WITH A BASEBALL BAT SOUNDS GREAT! I'd beat everybody! Man! I'm so awesome, I'm gonna bend reality with my god powers TO MAKE DRAGON BALL Z CHARACTERS COME AND I'D KICK THEIR ASSES TOO! FIRST YAMCHA, easy, THEN KRILLEN, THEN I wouldglompVegeta... WHAT I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! BOW TO ME!**

They Will all Fall Eventually: You soon will see, my friend... *covers Umeko's ears*

**Umeko: -THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN' AUTHOR WOMAN?!**

Easilyaddictedgirl: I'm glad I made you laugh! Truthfully, I'm not that funny! XD Okay, I am hilarious and you can quote everything I-

**Umeko: She was talking to HER GOD, THE GREAT UMEKO-SAMA-SEMPAI-SAN-CHAN-KUUUUN-CHAMA-SEMPAI-SAMA-SEMPAI-SAMA! And, Smile, yes that is a good song. Way back when I was in the real world and my parents were out drinking with their rich friends I'd rock out to some Avril Lavigne! **

Gueststar: TEAMGUESTSTAR! sorry, references, references... I'm BakaChan, what do you expect? And thank you for admiring my work! I hope I can continue to give you good chapters-

**Umeko: Your welcome since I am, Umeko! The best character in the history of forever in FanFiction!**

Well, your not Shikako Nara nor are you Koneko, so...

**Umeko: NEITHER ONE OF THEM ARE GOD, ARE THEY! Though, those were some good, good Fanfictions...**

* * *

So, thanks for reading, and leave a review if you can. It can be to me, or Umeko.

So, I guess time for Umeko's question or whatever

**Umeko: What's your all time favorite Naruto FanFiction? **


	6. Chibi Arc V

**BEFORE YOU READ, IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. THERE IS A POLL ON MY PROFILE LETTING YOU DECIDE WHICH FANFICTION OF MINE SHOULD BE MY MAIN FOCUS.**

* * *

It was finally recess. After our long, boring lecture about the physics of a kunai knife, we were free for an hour.

It gave me a free hour to try to get this terrible feeling in my stomach to go away.

_'She was in love with Naruto in canon. Since she was a little kid. So all I have to do is give a nice, bullshit speech about friendship, confidence, and what not. Then, I'm home free.' _I thought walking towards the blushing girl.

I gave my famous smirk.

"Hi, I'm Umeko! What's your name?" I said.

"I'm Hinata." she said softly as she twiddled her thumbs.

I kneeled down.

"I noticed that you've been staring at Naruto a lot lately... You gonna go talk to him and try to be his friend?" I asked.

Her face immediately reddened.

"Um-uh-I-um-a-er..."

"Alright, I'll take that as a yes. Now, get up." I said.

She got up and stared at me with curious eyes.

"Alright, now we're gonna work on gettin' some confidence so you can talk to Naruto, kay?" I asked.

She looked down, as if weighing her options, before nodding.

'_How dare she weigh her options when her god is offering to help her?!' _I thought angrily.

"Now, straighten your back. Nooo... Straighten don't slouch! What do you think you are, a Nara?! Good, good. Now, put your nose up in the air. NOOOOOOOOOO... -The fuck are you doing, Hinata?! Are you looking up in the sky? No, your looking slightly up so everyone knows your royalty, your higher than them. You are better than all of these people. You're from one of the richest clans in Konoha! Act like an awesome, less prickish, version of Sasuke!"

"B-But I don't think that! I-I'm not better than-"

"Don't you dare say that, Hinata! Your not worthless! You are someone! And you only live once, so you might as well be fuckin' awesome while doin' it! The thing is, you may die tomorrow! Do you wanna die never talking and confessing to Naruto?!"

"..."

"WELL DO YA, PUNK?!"

"N-No..."

"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"There you go, Hinata. Now that's what I was looking for. Now that I know it is possible for you to not stutter, your not allowed to do it anymore."

"But, I just met you..."

"ARE YOU BACK TALKING TO THE HEAVENLY UMEKO?!"

"No sir!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOOOOU!"

"NO SIR!"

"Good, Hinata. You'll go far. So here's a rubber band. Whenever you stutter, snap your wrist with it. That'll make you stop. And you better not snapping it light. I want it to be painful!"

"Painful?"

"**Painful."**

"Yes, sir!" Hinata said.

"Now, tomorrow, your going to my house and I'm giving you a makeover." I said.

"Y-You can do makeovers?" she asked.

I gave her a slight glare. She immediately snapped the rubber band before muttering a quick, "Ow."

"Hell, you may not believe me, but I am god almighty, and I know my shit!" I said smirking at the girl.

_'And a separate life as a teenage girl helps now and then...'_

"Oh. Okay. Can we eat now?" she asked.

"Hmph. As if I will eat with a lowly hum-"

I looked at her big eyes and blushing features.

Damn, that sound like a yuri fanfiction.

Creeeeeeepy...

ANYWAY, frankly, she looked like a teddy bear to me.

Like the bear I had at home named, Doug.

WAIT WHAT?! I DON'T HAVE A TEDDY BEAR!

SHUT UP AND STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH FUCKWAD!

"Fine." I grumbled sitting down and unwrapping my pickled plum rice ball.

Hey, that's ironic! My name means plum blossom and... Never mind...

* * *

"Alright, Hinata! Your looking cute. Your ready! You have passed the Intro to Confidence. NOW ARE YOU READY?!"

"Um..."

"HINATA! I SAID ARE YOU READY!?"

"YES, SIR-MA'AM! ow."

"Alright, let's go." I said pushing her closer and closer to the blond boy on the swing.

I gave her a final push and she was suddenly in front of the blond boy.

He looked up at her curiously.

"I-uh-ow-I-ow-I..." she took a deep breath.

"M-my, ow, am Hi-ow-Hinata... Its-uh-ow r-r-. Hi, Naruto! Hello, I'm really nice to meet me! W-Wait, ow, No. I mean." she suddenly began to start swaying.

She then hit the ground, red as a tomato.

The confused Naruto suddenly began freaking out, trying to shake her awake.

"Hm. Not gettin' involved. I did all I could. Well, more like wanted to do." I said walking away.

* * *

Hey, guys. Sorry for the short chapter. But, I couldn't think of anything after this cuteness! I'm just lovin' this! And Hinata is one of my favorite characters, so that's a thing!

Who knows, maybe she'll be a recurring character, trying to be Umeko's friend?

I like the thought.

* * *

bacon of doom: Naruhina, that is my favorite pairing! I swear if NaruSaku happens, I'll just write tons and tons of NaruHina fanfiction! XD

**Umeko: Of course I'm the anti-Mary Sue. Wait, wait, WAIT! Are you implying that I, THE GREAT UMEKO-SAMA-SEMPAI-CHAN-KUN-SEMPAI-SAMA-SEMPAI-SAMA IS NOT PERFECT?! I AM PERFECT IN EVERY SHAPE AND FORM! I AM GOD, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!** **Ahem, anyway. My religion is called... um... Umekoism! Because, I am Umeko. I am god. No, not Haruhi. I'm god of this universe! CHA! YEAH THAT'S ME, UMEKO, GOD OF UMEKOISM!**

Don't take her seriously, Umeko is crazy. (Really, sorry if your offended TT^TT)

minhthu12-Present: Thanks! I try to be different. That's why I did bad traits instead of good traits. But, I'm not this mean in real life, I promise! I have about as much fighting spirit as Tohru Honda or Winnie the Pooh XD

**Umeko: Glad you love me. I guarantee that you will one day be as awesome as me. That is my godly promise! Because, I am Umeko. And I am awesome as fuck. I love when people compliment me... Even god needs compliments! XD**

ImDifferentYukiChan: Thank you so much! I sure will!

**Umeko: God allows this new chapter to come out. It was juuuuust for you. *whispers* _don't tell the_ others...**

wolfii: I can't believe I got to the level of epic! Now that is an epic win! Huh? Huh?

**Umeko: I get it! It still sucked, don't try to be funny, Author woman. Leave it to me. *cough* *cough* Thanks for reviewing Wolfii. Here, this is a godly cookie. Enjoy it. Enjoy the nothingness that I have given you. XD **

Himeno Kazehito: *covers Umeko's ears* Shhhhhh... *whispers* _spoilers... _And... Yes! I have been compared to Black Star. Actually, when roleplaying with my friends for Hetalia and Fruits Basket, I'm Italy and Momiji! Fun Fact about BakaChan! XD

**Umeko: -THE FUCK ARE YA DOIN' AUTHOR WOMAN?! GET YOUR HUMAN JUICES OFF MY EARS!**

easilyaddictedgirl: Haven't read that fanfiction yet, but I most definitely will! Believe it!

**Umeko: *blushes slightly* NO WAY! I don't do matchmaker! Well, wait... I am god of the world, space, time, the land, and everything in between... So it is my job to do matchmaking... But, hell if they get together. Whoopty doo. I don't give a shit if they both fall flat on their faces, or kill themselves because of the Capulets and Montague bullshit. And, NO, I DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO DOUG-I MEAN HINATA! *stomps off* _Damn it I'm gonna need a beer after this._**

But that's not legal...

**Umeko: SHUT THE FUCK UP AUTHOR WOMAN! THIS IS GOD, YOUR FUCKIN' WITH!**

Gueststar: I love Darkpetal! Her stories are just so amazing its CRAZY! Have you read Decaying Bluebells?

**Umeko: Love me forever? Does that mean I have another minion-I MEAN-follower?**

FEARFLUFFY: Thank you very much! I'm really glad your enjoying it!

**Umeko: They are enjoying me, not an _it. _I am god! I outweigh you, spiritually, mentally, and physically! AND I'M 7!**

* * *

That's it for today! Thanks for reading, and hopefully you'll review, something for me or Umeko! ^^

AND ALMOST 20 REVIEWS IN 5 CHAPTERS!

31 FOLLOWERS!

You.

Guys.

Are.

AWESOME!

**Umeko: I approve of all of you. You all may be fit to be my minions-I MEAN-follower. Anyone volunteer to give their life and limb for Doug? A very, VERY important individual. If he were to die, the world as we know it would end. VERY BADLY.**

* * *

**So, favorite anime opening, or just J-Rock in general?**


	7. Chibi Arc VI

A few years had passed since I tried to bump up Hinata's confidence so that she could be friends with Naruto.

Well, it worked.

Naruto and Hinata were always seen together.

One a blushing, bumbling, and 'ow'ing girl.

The other a happy red faced boy.

But, one thing happened that I hadn't expected.

Hinata Hyuga herself latched herself onto me.

No, not like that ya god damn pervert.

But, more like she was always wanting to hang out with me.

It always seemed to go like, "Hey, Umeko? W-would, ow, would you like to hang out after school?"

"No."

"Okay.'

Next day comes around.

She sits with me at recess.

I walk away.

She begins to follow but see's Naruto's yelling and waving self, walking towards her.

"Hey, Umeko? Do you want to go to get ramen with me and Naruto?"

"No."

"Please? It'll b-be a lot of fun!"

"No."

"Okay..."

Yeah, the girl was sure as hell persistent, I'll give her that. And she would everyday ask if I wanted to hang out.

So frankly, her and Sakura are probably the closest I have to friends.

But I neglect both of them.

Not really any reason, but hey, its my life. I can do whatever the fuck I want, so shut the hell up and eat your cake! *cough* *cough* MOM!

Now, for the real part of the story of where I tell in detail another event that happened in the sweet hell I call the Academy.

* * *

"It's simple, Umeko! All you have to do is make sure all the other flowers match your main flower." Suzume-sensei said.

"I don't care. Why the hell do we even have to take this class?! Are we going to beat people up with flowers and vases?" I asked.

"No, Umeko, you can hide all kinds of poisons inside the flowers so if someone sniffs them they may paralyze you or-"

I tuned her out not really caring what all she had to say.

I looked over at Sakura who was crying, as usual.

Ami and the other girls were surrounding her.

"Oh, you mother fuckers!" I said, immediately getting up preparing to stomp over there to her rescue.

But I was grabbed by Suzume-sensei by the wrist.

"Umeko Haruno, what did you just say?!" she growled at me.

"I said you mother fuckers! And if you'd let me go, I'd go beat some kids up, since you don't know how to do your job. Zero bullying tolerance my pale white ass." I said.

"YOU ARE GOING TO THE HOKAGE!" she yelled.

I glanced back at Sakura who was being saved by Ino.

_'Noo... Now that this event happened, Sakura will change because of Ino. She will turn into some annoying bitch. And if she turns into an annoying bitch, I'll lose my most faithful follower!' _

"LET ME GO YOU DIRTY, FOUR EYED, BITCHY, FUCKIN', WHORE SACK!" I yelled trying to rip my arm out of her grasp.

She began to drag me.

"THIS IS FUCKIN' CHILD ABUSE! I CAN AND WILL CALL MY LAWYER! I AM GOD, AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU SUCK BIG FUCKIN' ELEPHANT DICKS IN HELL!" I yelled ignoring the stares I got from kids and shinobi we passed as I was literally dragged to the Hokage.

"So, Suzume, what did Umeko do this time?" the Hokage asked already used to me "acting up" in Kunoichi classes.

"She randomly began to yell cuss words and insulted me beyond belief." she said glaring at me.

"I wouldn't have done that if you would just do your job instead of fuckin' pick on me all the time." I said.

"Umeko, I know your a nice girl at heart, and you just act out for attention. But you must stop. I've been able to let you go with just a warning for the past few times for your shenanigans, but this time, your going to be severely punished." he said.

_'Nice girl at heart? Act out for attention? How dare he make these petty assumptions? This low class being shouldn't even be allowed to be in the same room as me, much less be allowed to lecture me!' _I thought as I slightly glared at the elderly man.

"You will be suspended from the Academy for two weeks, and until you graduate, you will be the assistant of a Jonin who requested to have an assistant. You will meet her at the Torture and Interrogation Building at 6:00 in the morning. If your even a minute late, you will be expelled from the Academy." he said.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME, OLD MAN?! THAT'S SO STUPID!" I yelled.

"SILENCE! *Ahem* Now, apologize to Suzume." he said.

I looked at the curly headed woman.

"I'd rather die." I said quickly looking away from her.

"DO IT!" the Hokage yelled at me.

"I apologize oh so much, for disrespecting you. I really should have respected your whore tendencies, and your mother is not a cow." I said sickly sweet.

"UMEKO!" the Hokage yelled.

"I'm SORRY! NOW, AM I DONE?!" I yelled.

He waved me out of the room before muttering, "I'm getting too old for this."

_'I'll get you for this, Suzume-sensei. Now, Sakura is going to turn into a bitch and I'll lose my main minion. Now who's gonna do all the paper work once I take over the world?! Wait, unless I make sure they don't get any closer than they are now. Yes, meddling and interfering, sounds fun. I can not afford to have a weak, fan girl as a sister. Yes, this will benefit me, and I will get some entertainment... Now, how am I going to get revenge on Suzume-sensei? I can use Naruto's love of pranks, and want of me as a friend for that. Oh, it feels good to have sources, and being superior to everyone sure helps out in the long run...'_

* * *

**Next chapter will be Umeko's first day as an assistant. So yeah...**

* * *

minhthu12-Present: I understand. I like most of the characters. Most of them have likable personalities in my opinion. But hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or however that quote went... XD

**Umeko: God damn it, Hinata... **

SugoiAuthorToBe: I LOVE IRYO-NIN KASA! *Ahem* Anyway. *covers Umeko's ears* The reason she thinks she's god is because in her mentality, since she's alive again. She must have defeated God himself to come back to life. So since she "defeated god", she believes she's the new god, and that gives her quite the inflated ego as you can most definitely see! XD And I don't know how I write mean things either. I just let all the pent up mean things inside me out in the form of Umeko Haruno. It seriously hurts to write some of the things she says when ever I read over what I wrote, because I literally lose myself while writing this story. And the moment you are waiting for should happen in the next few chapters, if things go the way I plan. Who knows...

**Umeko: I don't know what Author Woman said, but I THINK I'M GOD, CAUSE I AM GOD! GOD IS NOT KIRA. GOD IS NOT HARUHI! GOD IS NOT ZERO! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GOD IS NOT EDWARD FUCKIN' CULLEN! THERE IS NO NEED TO WONDER WHERE THE TRUE GOD IS! SHE'S RIGHT HERE! andshe'sfreshoutofmercy...**

(Please don't be offended by Umeko *bows*)

easilyaddictedgirl: I totally love the idea of Umeko using a whip. She can be a more bad ass version of Lucy from Fairy Tail! Oh my god, I laughed like a psycho when I read your review at school. I'm like, "PssssssssssssssssssssssssshHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA"

"Reyna? Would you like to answer number five?"

"Uh, um... 24?"

"Gary, answer number five..."

"56r + 12!"

_'Nobody likes you Gary...'_

ANYWAY! I GOT SIDETRACKED!

**Umeko: A whip... Isn't using one of those a hoes job? Like Suzume-sensei? But it sounds painful... Me likey! *cackles like a maniac***

ImDifferentYuki-Chan: Why thank you very much, Yuki-Chan! I really hope you don't mind me calling you that!

**Umeko: Well, I don't have much of a comment. Whoa, that never happens! Holy shit, did I get a concussion again? MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Himeno Kazehito: HELL YEAH I'VE READ IRYO-NIN KASA! THAT FIC IS AAAAAAAAAAAAWESOME! *cough* *cough* Kasa x Itachi FTW!

**Umeko: Bitch please, Kasa x Shisui. Damn, you don't know WHAT your talkin' about.**

I'm not done, Umeko! Anyway, Babymetal? Good taste in music my friend. And Mizuki Nana? As in Utau Hoshina! Yes! All the YES'S IN THE WORLD! HOLY CRAP, I LOVE HER! Sorry, I fangirl over Shugo Chara. *cough* *cough* Amu x Ikuto!

**Umeko: *cough* *cough* Bitch please, Amu x Tadase.**

That's it! We're havin' a long discussion, Umeko!

MOVING ON!

Gueststar: Momiji is the cutest. Though, Kyo is my all time favorite Fruits Basket Character. Actually, I went and got a hoodie made that has a cat on it and it says "Year of the Cat" XD That was my first anime, so it is very special to me. And screen high five for NaruHina!

**Umeko: I accept you as one of my faithful followers. Tell me, will you risk your life and soul for an important person to me? His name is Doug. He is the sign of my religion! Because a plum blossom is for a sissy religion! But, anyway, YOU, GUESTSTAR, IS NOW RECRUITED INTO UMEKO-CAHN-CHAMA-SAMA-HIME-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-CHAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAMA'S RELIGION. Congratulations. You now win virtual money that can only be used to buy Boku no Pico merchandise. And you have your own portable, UMEKO PRIDE! It's like Saiyan Pride, but 20 times more awesomer and heavenly.**

* * *

**Umeko: Who is your favorite character in anime? **

**Boom. **

**The impossible question has been asked.**

**BONUS QUESTION: What do you think of the new cover? **


	8. Chibi Arc VII

_"Peaceful young races with fires on their houses, '**millions of voices all silenced like mouses, '**watching the cowards bow toward their new QUEEN, '**these are a few of my favourite things!"**_I sang eerily as I trudged to the T&I building.

It was so early, I was singing. That's how bad it was.

I finally got to the building about five minutes early, and went to the front desk.

The woman sitting there without even looking up said, "Room 7, brat. And good luck."

"-The fuck, lady?! Why the hell did you call me, god herself, brat, you dirty dick suckin' skank?!" I said.

"Room 7, and you may want to hurry, brat." she said still not even glancing up.

"Why the hell don't you care, ya bitch? Care damn you!" I yelled.

She only answered with silence.

I growled, and stomped off to Room 7.

"Dirty bitch doesn't know god when she see's her. I'm god, god damn it!" I grumbled.

I opened the door to see a purple haired jonin eating dango.

She looked up at me with a glare.

"Why the hell didn't you knock, brat?!" Anko yelled.

"I didn't want to waste the energy." I said giving her a look of defiance.

"LEARN SOME RESPECT!" she yelled instantly behind me, giving me a slap on the back of the head.

"HOW DARE YOU HIT MY HEAD, WOMAN! YOU SURE HAVE BALLS TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO GOD HERSELF, BITCH!" I yelled back at her.

She was instantly behind me with a kunai to the side of my neck, it slightly scratched me making blood fall down onto my shirt.

"Where's your god now, brat?" she said.

I was silent with slight fear and shock.

No adult had dared to hit me, or scratch me.

She had balls, and frankly, she made me think of myself, and I...

Sure as hell hated that.

"That's what I thought." she said putting her kunai up.

I rubbed my sore neck.

"So, here's a stack of papers. Use this stamp, and stamp all of them. I'll be in the other room doing some torture, and fuckin' with minds." Anko said throwing the stamp to me.

I grumbled as I stamped every paper in the stack. It was dull, and not a job that suited me.

"Here I am, a superior being. And I'm stamping boring papers about who's been interrogated, and what they've said." I grumbled.

Hour after hour went by in a slow motion.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Each tick was making me get closer to deliver mass genocide.

Tick.

"Oh my me."

Tock.

"Damn it."

Tick.

"Damn IT!"

Tock.

"GOD DAMN IT, I'M HUNGRY, TIRED, AND I AM BORED! THIS IS SO FUCKIN' DULL, I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE MY DAMN LIFE! WHEN THE FUCK IS LUNCH, IT'S FUCKIN' 4:OO AND I SWEAR IF I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE BEFORE GETTING FOOD, SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE IN A HORRIBLE WAY! I SWEAR TO THE ALMIGHTY DOUG THAT IT WILL INVOLVE FEATHERS, KNIVES, FRUITS, AND A GOD DAMN PIG!" I yelled.

"You know, Umeko, the walls are soundproof. No one was able to here your screaming. The Stamp Ass Incident happened a year ago, and ever since, the walls of this room have been soundproof. So no one but me heard your screaming." Anko said.

I looked up and saw her sitting above me on the ceiling.

"-The fuck?! When the fuck did you get here?!" I exclaimed.

"Been up here for a few hours, had a nap. It was pretty relaxing." Anko said.

"When. Is. Lunch?" I literally growled at Jonin.

"Oh, it was about, 3 hours ago. I came in here and saw you heard at work and well, I waited for you to notice me, but I fell asleep." Anko said.

I dropped the stamp looking at here in pure bewilderment.

I instantly got up and began to stomp out of the room to get food.

"I'M GETTING FOOD!" I yelled about to leave, but then she was instantly behind me, a kunai up to my neck. Again.

"Will you ever get tired of doing that?" I asked.

"You missed your lunch break. Your not going anywhere until 7:00." Anko whispered in my ear.

I glared at her.

"Buuuuuut, I just happen to have some extra dango that I'm not eating. So you can have the leftovers." she said handing me a plastic bag that had a box in it.

I opened it to see a large abundance of different kind of dango.

I gave a happy smirk before sitting down and eating happily.

"DANGO! DANGO! DANGO! DANGO! DANGO, DAIKAZOKU!" I sang loudly and happily.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT NOISE?! IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE'S TORTURING A CAT!" Anko yelled crouching down with her hands over a mouth.

"Hey! I'm an amazing singer. You don't know whaaaaaaat your talking about! I'm the god of music and arts! Umeko rules you!" I said confidently.

Anko gave a grin.

"Wanna get out of this office and doing paperwork?" Anko asked.

"What?"

"Like doing some torture and interrogation." Anko clarified.

"Bitchin'! What do I do?" I asked as we walked towards another room.

"Sing a song that will easily get annoying to a S-Ranked criminal. Sing until he tells me what I wanna know, that's it." Anko said.

"Bitchin' me likey. I'm always looking for a reason to sing! Wait, do you mean that it's torture?" I asked.

"Nooooooooooooo, No way! Just he said he'll tell me what I want to know if he hears a good singer!" Anko said.

"Your lying... But, as a god, and possibly a sociopath, me likey!" I said.

We walked in a dark room that had a window showing inside of another room. There was a man that sat, tied to a chair. Anko handed me a microphone.

"When I tell you to do it, belt out a loud annoying song. That's all you have to do." Anko said.

"Yeah, kay." I said.

She walked in with cotton in her ears.

"MIRACHI! TELL ME I WANT TO KNOW!" Anko yelled more loud than she had to.

"What form of torture do you have for me now? No matter what, I won't tell you where his lab is." The man said.

"Do it, Umeko."

"BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOH! BABY BABY BABY OHHHHHHHH! CALL ME MAYBE! HEY I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS CRAZY! SO CALL ME MAYBE! WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?! I'M FANCY FROM LA TO TOKYO!" I yelled mashing up the most annoying songs I remember, ending with Friday.

"STOP IT! I'LL TALK! JUST STOP TORTURING THAT CAT! TEN MILES NORTH OF THE HIDDEN MIST! TEN MILES! "

"Alright, Umeko. Your done. Go home." Anko said looking at me through the window

"Don't tell me what to do." I said as I walked away, trying to hide the smile on my face.

* * *

"Then, Ino told them to shut up! Isn't Ino cool?!" Sakura said.

"Not really..." I grumbled.

"And, I saw Sasuke again today!"

"You see Sasuke everyday..."

"AND, people actually talked to me without being mean! Ino is really helping me out! She's awesome!"

"Sakura, don't let that girl change you. Though I doubt saying this will have much affect, but she isn't a good influence. She just pities you, and eventually she will throw you away. Or you might do the deed yourself. She likes Sasuke also, if it comes to the two of you fighting over him, won't it hurt? To be rivals with your so called savior? You might as well break it off now, before it gets painful." I said.

"U-Ume... Why..." she said with her head looking down.

"What?"

"Why do you not want me to be happy? Why do you not want me to have friends? WHY! SO MANY PEOPLE WERE EITHER MEAN TO ME, OR IGNORED ME JUST TO STAY AWAY FROM YOUR STUPID WRATH! WHY DON'T YOU LET ME LIVE MY OWN LIFE! I DON'T WANT TO BE PROTECTED BY YOU ANYMORE! INO IS TEACHING ME TO BE STRONG! I CAN BE STRONG, BUT NOT IF YOU ALWAYS PROTECT ME!" Sakura yelled.

I gave her a glare.

"Sakura... She really did it." I said.

"Did what?" Sakura asked.

"She changed you... I failed. But it wasn't my fault. You... YOU... DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOUR SAYING, MUCH LESS WHO YOUR SAYING IT TO? YOU'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR A WEEK, AND NOW YOUR GOING TO ABANDON YOUR OWN SISTER, YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD, FOR A BLOND GIRL WHO PITIES YOU! I've protected you, and I was prepared to be a sword and shield for you until you blossomed, become the person you could be. But, it appears that YOU DON'T CARE FOR ALL THAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU! CONVINCED YOU TO JOIN THE ACADEMY! FOUGHT OFF BULLY AFTER BULLY AFTER BULLY THAT CAME FOR YOU, JUST BECAUSE YOUR A WEAK LITTLE COWARD! I WANTED TO CHANGE YOU FOR THE BETTER! MAKE THE FUTURE LESS ANNOYING! NOT FOR YOUR SAKE, BUT MY OWN. Actually, really, just don't speak to me, Sakura. I disown you, we're no longer sisters. Actually we never were sisters, since I could never be related to such a weak coward." I said.

I gave a smirk as I went outside and began to train my heart out.

* * *

"UMEKO! HOW COULD YOU MAKE YOUR SISTER CRY LIKE THAT?!" Mother yelled at me.

"She did it first." I said in a deadpan.

"Honey, she's been crying since you left to train." Dad said.

'_That was four hours ago...' _I thought

"Oh, well isn't that a pity. Maybe that scum shouldn't have abandoned me." I said.

"Where did you get the idea she abandoned you?" Mother asked.

"It's none of your concern, Mother. She's scum to me, now. She can cry all she wants. She can die for all I care." I said.

I felt a slap across my face.

I looked at the angry face of my Mother.

"YOU PSYCHOPATH! DON'T YOU HAVE FEELINGS?!" Mother yelled.

"That's cute. You think I'm a psychopath? The term is sociopath, which I believe fits me well. I don't have many feelings. Pride, most definitely. Anger, yes, that too. But all the other feelings, happiness and sadness, I've thrown those away. Went cold turkey. Frankly, I was about to try to care about people again. I think I was even starting to think of Anko as an older sister. But, Sakura's abandonment made me remember that relationships don't mean a thing. People die, after they live. That's just what they do... And that little voice, that tells me to do good things, be good to people. That's gone too. No feelings, Mother, Father. All I want is to have a high place in life. Have it guaranteed. That's all I care for." I said getting up and leaving the table.

"Umeko, don't walk away from us!" Mother said.

"I need to be alone." I said, walking upstairs to my room.

I got on my bed.

"No feelings... No feelings... N-No feelings..." I muttered as tears ran down my face.

_'Damn you, Sakura... But, your simply replaceable. And your replacements will be even better than you... You dirty bitch...'_

* * *

Himeno Kazehito: She's met him. They just ignore each of like Sasuke and Hinata.

**Umeko: Sasuke? He's kind of a prick... But he's good at what he does... being a prick.**

minthu12- Present: Me too!

**Umeko: I look fabulous no matter what. Beautiful!**

Gueststar: I'm glad you've decided to join Umekoism. I'm deciding about whether I should convert or not! XD

**Umeko: My faithful worshipper, I give you your... own... Higurashi Face! Have fun!**

NoIdea135: I'm glad that you like it! I love rebel OC's. Not like fake rebel. Like, 'I'm acting mean but I'm actually nice and I loooove everybody! Summoning Jutsu! King Unicorn!'. *Ahem* Sorry, got carried away XD

**Umeko: *spits* Renegade for Life**

Easilyaddictedgirl: NARUHINA! SASUSAKU (Since Sasuke and Sakura soooooooo enjoy each other) ShikaIno/ShikaTema (I go both ways... THATS WHAT SHE SAID!) KakaAnko! JiraiyaxTsunade, UtakataXHotaru

**Umeko: Wow, that's a trip back into years and years ago... I'd say, Sasuke and Naruto and Sakura having three way sex with Maito Gai watching. Enjoy that picture in your. Now to be for real, NaruHina, I was hardcore for them. Sasuke and Sakura, cause I hate them both, so they can have each other. But just to spite Sakura, I wrote some Sakura X Rock Lee fanfiction, with Ino and Sasuke being an item. If I still had that, I would give it to Sakura in a few years.**

TFK-Fan118: JOLLY FUCKIN' RANCHERS! YOU READ THIS! I BOW TO YOU MULTIPLE TIMES! *on floor bowing* Sorry about that fangirl moment, but I love your My Life As series of FanFiction! They are so awesome! Anyway, to your review. YES! You make me think your cooler and cooler! People always say they like Umeko, but she's not supposed to be likable. She's supposed to be that bitch that no one likes just because she's a total sociopath. So, thank you so much for that review!

**Umeko: Hmph. I don't like you either. I like your FanFiction. But your just mean!**

(PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED! I'M SO SORRY! TT^TT I'LL FEEL TERRIBLE IF YOU HATE ME FOR THAT! *BOWS CONTINUOUSLY FOR INFINITY*

_Then BakaChan dies in a bowing position. The End..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

Rose from Dead!

mass-defect: I like your name. I like your review. Thanks for reviewing! It means a lot, friend!

**Umeko: Does this mean you'll join the religion of Umekoism?**

Tough Chick: I made sure to make a longer chapter! Please don't beat me up! *waves white flag*

**Umeko: Of course you want a longer chapter! More ME! GOD! UMEKO, THE GOD OF UMEKOISM! OUR SIGN IS A TEDDY BEAR NAMED DOUG! AND HE IS GREAT!**

* * *

Okay, I have two legit reasons for not updating.

1. Homework/School in general.

And two, now this one's a biggie.

Sherlock.

If you've seen the show, you know what I'm talking about.

So, yeah...

Okay, I'm hungry! I'm gonna go eat some ravioli.

_-Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~_

**Umeko: What is your opinion on the infamous Harry Potter FanFiction, My Immortal? If you have not read it, look it up on Google. **


	9. Chibi Arc VIII

"Umeko! I'm sorry! Ume, please forgive me!" Sakura begged as we walked to school. I kept my stoic look as I barely even gave her a glance.

"Ume!" she yelled.

"Hinata!" I said as I spotted the dark haired girl.

She gave me a smile.

"Hi, Umeko..." she said softly.

"Is that offer for lunch with you and Naruto still available?" I asked with a serious look on my face.

Hinata looked completely shocked. She happily nodded.

"Umeko! Are you just going to ignore me!? We're sisters, you said it yourself we have to be there for each other!" Sakura yelled at me.

"Excuse me, Hinata." I said turning around and giving my worst glare.

"I am Umeko, god of the world. Everything the sun touches is mine. Everywhere the moonlight shines, is mine. Everything is mine. Do you HONESTLY think that I HAVE to do anything?! I said it last night, scum, that we are no longer sisters. I've disowned you, remember? So, stop being a pansy and be strong like you said you'd be. Be with Ino, quit your friendship with her in a few years. All you do is abandon people, and expect everyone to love you for it. And all you'll ever do in the future is be a public nuisance to everyone. And abandon MORE people. Luckily I am merciful towards you, just because of our previous relationship. But, I am fresh out of mercy. Talk to me again as if we are sisters, and I will make pink Sakura soup out of you. High in Vitamin Dumbass." I said in a monotone voice.

I turned around to the stunned Hinata.

I gave her a kind smirk.

"Let's go find Naruto, shall we?" I said.

"Y-Yes." Hinata said, then snapping herself with the rubber band.

"You still do that?" I asked as we walked away.

"Umeko, why were you so cruel to Sakura? I thought you were fond of her." Hinata said.

"She's nothing but scum to me now... But, it's really none of your concern, Hinata. Learn your place, peasant." I said.

She noticed the totally devastated look on my face.

"Why don't you apologize?" she asked.

"No, I'm god, I don't NEED to apologize. She is lower than me." I said.

"She's not that short..." Hinata said.

"You don't understand the situation, do you? Listen, I've always protected her, even though I could barely tolerate her. And now, she thinks she can throw me away for a girl that she's just met. So, I returned the favor." I said.

"Umeko, what you need to think about is what's more important to you. Your godly pride, or your sister." Hinata said.

I looked at her, before looking at the sky.

"HINATA! UMEKO!" I heard a loud obnoxious voice yell. I saw a blond Naruto running to us.

"N-N-N-ow-Naruto!" Hinata exclaimed.

_'Pride, or Family...'_

"Hm. Hinata, what you don't realize is that all people do is die. And no matter what, a person always has their pride unless it's been wounded. My pride is invincible. So if I have to choose between scum and my pride, I always will choose my pride." I said looking up at the sky, and throwing a glare at Sakura who was crying into Ino's shoulder.

I noticed the blond throw a glare at me.

I slightly tilted my head and smirked.

'_Oh the girl is angry with me... Cute.' _I thought.

"Umeko! Your actually gonna hang out with us?" Naruto asked with a grin.

"I decided I could give you the honor of my presence." I said.

"Awesome! Hey you wanna sit together in class!? And maybe play at recess!? Or even hanging out after school?!" Naruto said at about 1000 miles per hour.

"Hm. Sure, might as well get to know the people that I rule." I said.

Hinata was giving a smile, and Naruto was jumping with excitement.

_'The Hyuga Princess and Jinchuuriki/ Hero of the Fourth Shinobi War... Those connections will surely benefit me more than being Sakura's sister.' _I thought as I mentally made plans for the future ahead.

* * *

Later at school, I was on my way to my worst subject, Kunoichi Classes.

While I would loved to spend an hour training like the boys, I had to go to Kunoichi Classes to learn how to put flowers in a vase.

I was looking down, thinking about Sakura, and pondering on what I wanted to do in the future. I already knew that I didn't want to change much of canon, but I did want to be a over powered kunoichi. While I don't have the Sharingan (I'd rather not rip out Sasuke's eyes... yet), nor do I have some special clan kekkei genkai, I didn't have much going for me.

Chakra control...

Suck.

Hand signs...

Average.

Ninjutsu...

Suck.

Taijutsu...

Barely above average...

Genjutsu...

Meh... Okay.

So, really didn't have much I was good at.

"Maybe... That might work... Takes a while... Sounds fun." I muttered, when I bumped into someone.

I looked up and saw Sasuke freaking Uchiha.

"Get out of my way next time, asshat." I growled at the Uchiha boy. I glared at him before shoving past him.

I didn't even look back to see if he looked at me.

Frankly, I didn't give a rats ass.

I might have thought he was a fine piece of ass back in the real world.

But he was a total ass hole who thinks he's higher than me.

He may be taller, but he is not above me in anyway.

Really, he was about equal to the dirt on which I walk.

Yeah, Pecking Order in this bitch.

Sakura, Sasuke, Suzume-sensei, Everyone else, Anko, Rookie Nine (excluding Naruto and Hinata), Naruto and Hinata, the dirt, the worms in the dirt, my shit, Hokage, then Doug, then... THE BRILLIANT GOD, AMAZING PERSON HERSELF, UMEKO!

"BRILLIANT! JUST BRILLIANT!" I yelled out of no where, noticing I was now in the middle of Kunoichi class.

"I'm glad to see your so enthusiastic about your studies, Umeko!" Suzume said with a smile.

"Shut your face, glasses woman." I said

"Say something?"

"Err... No..." I said.

"Good!"

* * *

I just got out of the T&I building, my throat dry from singing to so many criminals.

All of them confessed in about 2 minutes each.

Yeah...

So, it was about 7:00, and my curfew wasn't until 9, so it gave me a few hours to do some training.

"Punch! Punch! Punch! Nooooow CHA!" I yelled punching a tree with all my might.

I barely even left a dent.

I looked at my hand, and looked at the tree.

"DAMN IT WHY THE HELL DIDN'T IT EXPLODE!" I yelled.

"IF I CAN'T EVEN HURT A TREE, HOW DO I EXPECT TO GET STRONGER!" I yelled.

"Well, brat. You can't expect a tree to explode from that weak of a punch. And where did you learn how to punch, anyway? That really sucked." Anko said.

"Iruka..." I mumbled to the purple haired Jonin.

She jumped down and held out her hand.

"Punch my hand, brat. Let's see if we can get you stronger." she said with a grin.

I gave a smirk, about the closest to a smile you'll ever see.

"Hm... Sounds good to me. CHA!"

_'Mission One is Completed. Got a Jonin trainer at Academy Age. Now, for Mission Two..._

* * *

suntan140: Me too! ^-^ Because I have nooo idea!

**Umeko: Hmph. That prick will probably come crying back to me. But bitch had her chance, shit! She's been replaced by people that will give me even better connections. And when my mission is completed. BWUHAHAHAHAHAHA SHE WILL RUE THE DAY SHE ABANDONED ME! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE!**

Freddie4153: Here's the next just like you wanted!

**Umeko: ... so, the weathers kind of a bitch, huh... #feelingawkward #Ihatehashtags**

LITTLE RED FOXX: Love your name, just had to say that. Aaaand, I continued ^o^

**Umeko: Yeah I'm back in a new chapter... So, uh, that's a thing. #stillfeelingawkward #hashtagssuck**

Himeno Kazehito: XD Good thing I only heard that!

**Umeko: Heard what?**

NOTHING!

**Umeko: *whispers* Author Woman is a real weirdo, ain't she? Hey! Thank you for appreciating my singing unlike SOME PEOPLE *throws a glare at Anko and the prisoners***

NoIdea135: hate school. Love friends! Hate school. But I have a three day weekend! Cause in America it's Labor Day on Monday!

**Umeko: HAHAHAHAHA ME APOLOGIZE?! HAHAHAHAHA**

toughchick: Thank you very much!

bacon of doom: T^T

**Umeko: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MOM! GO BUY TISSUES!**

Irene: Yeah, me either, honestly XD

**Umeko: Unique... Is that a compliment, or an insult? **


	10. Filler, Chibi Arc Ends

It had been about a year since Anko took me as her apprentice. I no longer had to go to the Academy since I earned a private teacher that signed for me to spend all of my school training with her. So, my plan was going great.

My main focus then was to surpass Anko.

She worked on everything with me. Chakra control, jutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu. While not being a Genin, me being me, I'd say I was around Jonin level.

"DAMN IT! WHY CAN'T I WIN?!" I yelled after getting my ass kicked by Anko in the middle of the Forest of Death.

Okay, I wasn't exactly Jonin level...

Or Chunin...

Barely even Genin, actually...

Maybe a little below...

THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

I was very advanced for a 9 year old.

While still technically an Academy Student, I learned things that were actually useful.

Not how to make flowers pretty.

"This flower is very poisonous." Anko said pointing to the plant.

"So, we're going to Forest of Death to learn about plants and what not to eat? Why should I worry about that? I'll be eating gourmet dinners fit only for god herself!" I said confidently.

Anko threw a senbon, hitting a tree right behind me. It barely nicked my arm.

"WHY?!" I yelled.

"Because if you can learn all the poisons, you can learn almost every antidote. And there are a lot of enemies out there that will use poisons. Poisons can weaken you to the point your about as easy to kill as your teddy bear." Anko said.

"Don't bring Doug into this, Anko!" I growled.

"Oh, looks like we have company, Umeko." Anko said pointing behind me.

I turned around to see a tiger.

Anko stood as I got a kunai and began to try to stab it.

"You're on a timer..." Anko sang.

We had a rule that when we're learning in the Forest of Death, if we encounter an enemy, I have to defeat it. Anko said if I couldn't beat it, she'd let me die.

But, as if I'd die! I'm god! Rabid tigers shiver at my feet!

"Son of a bitch scratched me!" I grumbled after I defeated the tiger.

Anko quickly healed me, but obviously let a little of the pain stay at the spot the wound once was.

"You shouldn't have let that tiger scratch you! I doesn't even know taijutsu, but it still beat you when it came to that." Anko said.

"That things like the tiger from hell. But, I killed it, so does it matter?" I said.

"Some ninja use all sorts of weapons. Some use poisoned claws that can kill you. If that scratched was an inch away from where it was, it would have hit a major artery and it would be very difficult for me to heal! You need to be more careful!" Anko lectured.

"Stop lecturing me, mortal." I said.

Anko punched me on the top of the head before disappearing.

I looked up and noticed it was sunset.

"No way... She did not. SCREW YOU, ANKO" I yelled.

She left me in the middle of the Forest of Death, alone, and it was about to get dark.

I didn't have many supplies left, with us training.

I only had a few senbon and kunai.

I ignored the slight trembling of my legs as I smirked.

"HA! YOU THINK GOD HERSELF WILL SUCCUMB TO A LOUSY FOREST FOR A NIGHT! I CAN SURVIVE, EASILY! WITH NO EFFORT! BITCH, I DON'T NEED ANYBODY!" I yelled confidently.

"Well, now that I think about it, that was a smart way to let every animal in the forest no where I am..." I said.

I began running through the forest.

'_Did the anime say anything about how big it was!? I don't remember! I just know big events, nothing small! I especially don't know the details of this place!' _I thought.

"Crap. Crap. Crap." I said with each jump as I jumped through the trees.

Then, I encountered a pack of large wild lboars.

"Well pigs, tell me. How many pigs does it take to get me full? One pig, then the rest dies too." I said, taking out two kunai.

"CHA!" I yelled as I punched one of the pigs.

I was expecting some Sakura Shippuden punch but, what I got was a pig whining in pain.

"Damn this pig sounds like a baby." I said as I punched, knocking out pig after pig.

* * *

"So, Umeko, how are you feelin'?" Anko asked teasingly once I got out of the forest.

I fell on the ground, weak from poison.

"Peachy." I said, before passing out.

* * *

Hey, BakaChan here. Sorry for the suck chapter, I'm really tired, but I just really wanted to update.

Yeah, School Problems.

So the chapter sucks, that much I know, but just think of this as filler!

But, hey next chapter is the start of a new arc! So, that's a thing.

* * *

suntan140: Who knows?

**Umeko: Hey, all that will change about me when I get older is that I will have my god like powers. It's all part of my plan! BwuHAHAHAHA!**

Well, actually, she will be less mean in the future, but I can't say too much.

Freddie4135: It's a suck chapter, but it counts right?

**Umeko: Yup, just gonna sit here and keep being awesome... #FeelingAwkward... #StillHatingHashtags**

SatsuUzumaki: XD Thanks! I don't know how I'll keep this going forever, but I'll try! I don't even have any pairing ideas yet!

**Umeko: Forever, huh. You want my god-like awesomeness to last forever? T^T That's so sweet! I'm glad someone can understand how great I am!**

bacon of doom: Spoiler warning, she will :)

**Umeko: HAHAHA nice. You have the right idea!**

easilyaddictedgirl: XD I really hope Umeko didn't hear you say that! *feels intense killing intent* Oh shit. *waves white flag while fleeing*

**Umeko: We'll wait a few years to rip out that damn quackers. Actually, I changed my mind. I have my eyes on some different eyes. It will all work according to my secret plan! BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

LITTLE RED FOXX: You saw the reference... YOU SAW THE REFERENCE! I hope you don't mind, but *INTENSELY GLOMPS*

**Umeko: Guilty of making awesome references...**

Gueststar (for both chapters [Killing two birds with one stones with this one. But you're awesomer than a bird]): I'm a diehard NaruHina fan, so I kind of have to! And Anko is one of my favorite minor characters of Naruto, I wish I knew what was going on with her! T^T

**Umeko: Sakura... Of course she feels bad! SHE WILL RUE THE DAY SHE BETRAYED UMEKO-SAMA-SENPAI-CHAN-SAN-KUUUUN-SENPAI-SAMA-SENPAI-SAMA! BWUHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! when my plan is completed, she will especially be sorry!**

Tough chick: You got that right!

**Umeko: I'm moving up faster than Ino lost her... uh... Oh my god. OH MY ME! THIS PICTURE IN MY HEAD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

potterinu: HAHAHAHA! I like you! I like this review! Spoiler, it's gonna happen.

**Umeko: Your just jealous of my super godly swagger.**

Please don't be offended by her, Potterinu!

*Bows repeatedly*

.

.

.

.

.

.

BakaChan dies while bowing

.

.

.

.

Then comes back to life!

* * *

**Umeko: Have any pairing ideas? Preferably not yuri, nor with Naruto... Or Sasuke... Or Kakashi... Or... *Names every character in the series***

**How about Vegeta? That'd be nice!**


	11. Genin Arc I

"Alright, Umeko. It's the day." Anko said.

"The day? The fuck are you talkin' about?" I asked.

"I don't see how you're gonna make it as a genin if you can barely even listen to your instructor..." Anko said shaking her head.

"I'll just make it with my superior awesomeness, and supreme godly power, of course! We've gone over this, Anko..." I said.

"Today you will be doing the test to become Genin." Anko said.

"Well, that's a thing..." I muttered.

"Umeko... Aren't you nervous, or something?" Anko asked.

"Nah... Pretty confident I can do a FREAKIN' CLONE JUTSU!" I said.

"Umeko, you shouldn't let the nervousness I know you have build up. That's how you choke and mess up." Anko said.

"Psssssssssssssh... I am NOT nervous! I'm highly confident that I, Umeko Haruno, can do JUST FINE!" I said.

"Whatever, but if when you mess up and have to go through the ungodly humiliation of screwing up, don't come crying to me!" Anko growled.

"JUST TO SPITE YOU, I'M GONNA FUCKIN' DO THE BEST! AMAZING! I'LL DO SO GOOD, THE HOKAGE WILL BOW TO ME, ANKO!" I yelled.

"It's Anko-sensei..."

"ANKO!" I yelled stomping away.

But what I didn't know at the time was that she gave a grin when she left. Because she knew I would for sure do well, just to spite her.

What can I say? My pride and rage motivates me.

* * *

"Alright, Umeko, all you have to do is make a clone, and you'll pass... Do-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Shadow clone jutsu!" I said.

Okay, don't look at me like that.

I've seen the move enough that I knew the one hand sign for it. And who WOULDN'T wanna try Naruto's favorite jutsu (next to the Rasengan or Rasenshuriken).

Three me's appeared smirking.

"Headband. Hand now, heathen." I said.

Iruka slightly twitched before handing me a forehead protector.

"Wow, she's quite talented. Learning the Shadow Clone Jutsu at 12 years old." Mizuki said.

"She's Anko's student. So, it's really not all that suprising." Iruka said.

I walked out with my chest stuck out, my nose in the air, and a confident smirk on my face.

* * *

"Umeko! You have your headband?" Hinata asked, since she was right after me.

"Yup, and it was a piece of cake gettin' it." I said.

"Weren't you nervous or something?" she asked.

"Naaaaah... I'm god, if I can't even make a simple clone, I won't even be worth my salt!" I said.

"Well, okay..." she looked down, then looked at up at me. Almost as if she was expecting a speech to get her fired up.

'_Man, these people hear speeches too much. Now their expectin' it outta me. This is bullshit.'_ I thought.

"You'll do fine. And, if you don't graduate you might not be able to see Naruto anymore. Even worse, Sakura might try to take him from you. Worst case scenario, Naruto and Sasuke will fall in love. So, if you graduate, this won't happen." I said.

She had a fire in her eyes.

"I'M LATE!" Naruto yelled running into the waiting room. Most of the kids snickered at him.

"Tell me, do you want that to be with someone else?" I asked.

"No! No, I don't! I can win! I can do it! I CAN DO IT!" she began chanting as she walked towards the door.

I even heard the chants inside the room then I heard a poof. I heard about 30 'I CAN DO IT!'S' within the room.

Naruto walked up to me.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I created a monster." I said.

* * *

**Sorry, not as long as I wanted it, but it's a short introduction do our new arc, The Genin Arc!**

**So, that's a thing...**

* * *

Freddie4153: I did! XD

**Umeko: ... (-_-) #WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY**

Potterinu: I like it! I will most definitely think about that one!

**Umeko: Neji... Hm. He is no match for I, UMEKO HARUNO! BWUHAHAHAHA!**

Himeno Kazehito: Second one for Neji! (Decaying Bluebells is AMAZING!) _Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Don't let her hear y-_

**Umeko: Vegeta ran away from me... Wait, wait, wait... HE'S MARRIED TO MEEEEE! NOT BULMA! T^T**

baconofdoom: Anko and Umeko do have a cute relationship, and I really do want to have more sweet moments with them.

**Umeko: My most faithful, disciple. You. Are. Forgiven!**

NoIdea135: Maaaaan, you had me there for a second! XD

**Umeko: You'll give me ice cream?! You are most definitely forgiven! UMEKO IS MERCIFUL! AMAZING! I'm just... **

**Saiyan.**

Legendz25: Thanks!

**Umeko: Excuse you, Author Woman! Legend over here was talking to me. Thank you, are you willing to sacrifice your life for the one known as Doug?**

CaptorBlood: I was thinking about doing that. Buuuut, we have too many Neji shippers. I may just do it. I kind of like the way it sounds... What do you think?

**Umeko: Doug... DOUG?! T^T ANYONE BUT MY TEDDY BEAAAAAAR! *hugs Doug***

irene193: XD Hilarious!

**Umeko: Umeko, god of the world, WHILE BEING THE PRINCESS OF ALL SAIYANS! I LOVE IT!**

SatsuUzumaki: I'll see if I can fit that in, somehow.

**Umeko: Hm... I'll see if this affects my plan...**

Tough chick: XD

**Umeko: YES! GO ME! ALL HAIL UMEKO! ALL HAIL DOUG! ALL HAIL MEEEEEEE!**

Gueststar: I'm glad that you enjoyed the crap chapter! XD I hope you liked the intro to the new arc!

**Umeko: HA! UMEKO-SENPAI-SAMA *3 hours later* -SAN-HIME-KAMI-CHAN-SENPAI-SAMA-SENPAI-SAMA WILL NOT DIE! And I will meet Pein. He is a main pawn in my super. Secret. Plan. BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

* * *

**So, who can guess the super secret plan?**


	12. Genin Arc II

"Wow. My team is a couple of bitches." I commented looking at the nameless faces of my two teammates.

Okay, scratch that. One's name was Makoto and the other was Daiki.

Both males.

Both total idiots.

They were from a totally different class, Mizuki's class, I might add. And the two males of Team Four were...

"YOU FUCKERS ARE BORING!" I yelled as I waited on our new sensei.

"Oh. Is that so?" the confident Daiki said with a smirk.

"Uh. Yeah. You're a boring prick, and Makoto over here is just staying silent glaring at a window! That's not cute! THAT. IS. CREEPY!" I said thinking about a prick named Sasuke.

"SilenceorI'llkilleverythingyoulove." Makoto said quietly and quickly.

"What?" Daiki asked.

"Hmph. Jokes on you." I muttered.

Suddenly we heard a trumpet as if it was someone was announcing their arrival.

"I AM HERE!" a familiar voice sang.

"Oh, no way..." I said.

Anko jumped out with a sign behind her that said, "Your Lovely Sensei"

"Hi, Anko..." I said looking obviously bored.

"It's SENSEI! Anko-SENSEI!" Anko said angrily.

The two boys looked overly confused.

"I'm Anko Mitarashi, and we'll be seeing if I'll be your sensei, my possible Genin." Anko said.

"Anko, didn't we already become Genin?" Daiki asked.

"Nope, your little test was easy compared to what we're gonna do. Since, it's up to me if you'll be Genin or not. Frankly, your whole career is decided by me. Shall I be your sensei? Shall I send you back to the Academy? Shall I send you to the Genin Corps? Shall... That's a fun word... But your whole life right now, is all about me, and the sweet word, shall. Let's see how you'll do on this test." Anko growled.

"Let's do your stupid test. I don't know about these two morons, but I'm ready!" Daiki exclaimed.

'_So this is the retarded cousin of Naruto, personality wise,'_

"I'dliketoheartherulesbeforeweproceedsnakepossiblepediphile,sociopathwoman." Makoto said in his normal low, quick, and quiet voice.

'_Whatever I choose to say now, might as well be my catchphrase! Nothing stupid like believe it, cause hell why do I need to believe in anything if I semi-know what's gonna happen. Nothing prick-like hn, cause who wants to sound like that damn Sasuke. CHA! Hell, I said it once, and I DO NOT wanna sound like that twig bitch Sakura. Soooo...'_

"Bitchin'!" I exclaimed.

"Haha, nice to see you three all excited and all, buuuut we're not doing your test today. Tomorrow at the Forest of Death at 5:00 a.m. sharp. If one of you shows up late, heads will be rolling, and Genin will be heading to the Academy. And don't eat, you'll just throw up on yourself tomorrow." Anko said before disappearing.

_'This all sounds familiar... Hm... Didn't Kakashi do something like this? What was it? Something about friendship... Right? No... Teamwork? The teamwork test thingy! I forgot what the test was, I'm god, I'm bound to forget something now and then... But, hell, it's teamwork. That's how I'll pass this measly test!'_

I looked at the two retarded teammates of mine.

"I have no idea how these two will graduate... Just better pray to myself tonight. For their definite demise and failure, I mean." I said with a smirk as I walked away from them.

* * *

"PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled as I punched the ground, making the earth slightly shake beneath my feet.

Oh, what? Did you think I gave up on Tsunade's move.

HA!

As if I'd let some measly awesome super power move escape my grasp.

Plus, since I figured it out ALL ON MY OWN!

I thought I might as well rename it.

I REFUSED to use Cherry Blossom Clash in honor of our resident pink haired weakling.

"Umek-k-k. MOOOOM! UMEKO DESTROYED THE BACKYARD AGAIN WITH HER STUPID TRAINING!" Sakura yelled in her annoying high screech.

"Sakura, shut up. You'll lower the IQ of the whole street." I said.

"Oh, how long did take you come up with that one, dumb ass?" Sakura asked.

"Oh it took me about as long as it took me for me to plough through Sasuke..." I said with a smirk.

Sakura's face got red, "Y-Y-Y-YOU WHAT?!"

"Just. Kidding!" I sang.

"YOU BITCH!" Sakura yelled.

"SAKURA! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CUSSING!" Mom yelled as she ran outside.

"UMEKO WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FLOWERS!" Mom screeched.

I walked inside ignoring her angry cries.

"Well, Dad, I think I got your side of the genes." I said, as I went upstairs to my room.

* * *

"Alright, the rules are simply. Take the bells from me, you get lunch and you become my student. Don't take the bells, you go back to the Academy. Simple as that. And be prepared to come at me with the intent to kill. Because anything else will be useless. Your _pretty eyes_, _your genjutsu,_ _and superior godliness, _won't help your asses at all." Anko said mockingly.

"I won't be mocked!" I exclaimed waving my fist at Anko.

"Mygenjutsuisperfection." Makoto said.

"HA! YOU WILL HAVE TO PROVE IT!" Anko said with a laugh.

"Bitchin'! Let's go!" I said confidently.

* * *

"Well, Makoto. Your genjutsu, was good. For an Academy student. Daiki, your Byakugan. Hm... You need to practice more, because oh my god, IT SUUUUUUCKED! Umeko, well, your fire jutsu is getting a lot better, your taijutsu is really good, those punches really stung. All in all you three did okay. But, you forgot something. Umeko, you tried to use it, surprisingly but these two idiots refused. So you two, Makoto and Daiki. You two will decide if you'll be Genin. You both have one guess each to see what you forgot. One of you get it right, you both become members of Team 4. No helping them, Umeko." Anko said.

I yawned, "Suuuuure, whatever..." I said.

"Daiki?" Anko asked.

"Errrrrrrrr..."

"Nope, err is not the answer. Makoto?" Anko asked.

"WHAT? THIS IS STUPID!" Daiki yelled. Makoto glared coldly at Daiki.

"The answer is..."

* * *

Alright guys, this chapter was testing the waters with Makoto and Daiki.

I'm undecided about these two if they'll stay on Team 4, but hell, I'm gonna include you guys, which is what I enjoy. So, I'll describe the two a little bit, and let you tell me in the reviews if they should stay or should they go.

Makoto Yamanaka is the slightly psychotic younger cousin of Ino. He has many social phobias and just phobias in general. He tries to act like a psychopath so nobody will talk to him, and he won't have to show his extreme social phobia. He's afraid of needles and sharp objects, imperfection, being touched, being alone, thunder, pretty women, crowds, and cats. I plan on just portraying him as a character with a lot of internal conflict and seeing if maybe he'll eventually be able to conquer his fears and be himself.

He's also very good at genjutsu. Him being afraid of sharp objects makes him unable to use kunai, shuriken, and any other weapon. He mostly focused on genjutsu because it didn't require for you to be close to someone, and he hoped that with genjutsu and his clan's hidden jutsu, he could avoid most human contact. He's average at the Yamanaka family jutsu, no better or worse at genjutsu. He's physically strong, slightly muscular in build. But, he's terrible in taijutsu because of his phobias.

Daiki Hyuga is going to be a smug, confident, Hyuga. He is a distant cousin of Neji and has the Curse Mark. He was never a prodigy or anything, but he's still an okay fighter. Unlike most Hyuga he is better at Ninjutsu than he is at Taijutsu. He isn't naturally talented in the Gentle First, but he can at least hit someone at Umeko's level of awesomeness. So, really he's just an arrogant jerk.

* * *

baconofdoom: It involves that! ^-^

**Umeko: The dolphin man has always been a heathen! I just choose now to call him that!**

Legendz25: Thanks for the review!

**Umeko: In a few years, when the final stage of my plan is complete. And Doug, oh he's in the middle of a small harem. He's choosing between Momo the bunny and Saiyan the monkey. I totally ship him and Momo though.**

CaptorBlood: XD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Umeko: Hmmm... *imagines it* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT MIGHT WOOOORK! AHAHAHA BWUHAHAHAHAHHA!**

NoIdea135: She'll make subtle changes to timeline, and a few biggies in the future.

**Umeko: Apparently it is... We have quite a few shippers. And then there's the Umeko/Doug ship... And then there's that one...**

TargetFailed: XD Love your username!

**Umeko: That girl is crazy behind closed doors, let me just tell you! Last time we had a sleepover, she had the idea to put purple in Sakura's shampoo. Naruto's been a bad influence on her too. Yeah, but that prank backfired because it got in Mom's shampoo bottle. Man, that shit was crazy. Mom got pissed, and shit hit the fan.**

Gueststar: LOL, I love your guess!

**Umeko: A psychopath and a Hyuga. Just, peachy, huh?**

Toughchick: #Nowfeelingabitawkward

**Umeko: Hell yeah! I'll never change!**

Himeno Kazehito: It's alright! I can't update as much with school going on! ^^

* * *

**Yo! Umeko here! I wanna thank my faithful followers for worshipping me!**

BakaChan: *ahem* Umeko...

**Okay, for 70 reviews! You guys are almost half as awesome as my godly self!**

**Unlike my psych job teammates and sensei.**

**And Iruka.**

**And Sakura.**

**And Mom...**

**But, I'd say your right under Doug! XD**


	13. Genin Arc III

"The answer is... Obviously, teamwork." Makoto said slowly and louder than usual.

"So you ARE capable of not sounding insane while talking. Who would of thought? Your such a-"

"FinishThatSentenceAndI'llTurnYourPreciousEyesIntoASoupyConsistancy." Makoto said glaring at the Hyuga.

"You guys are some bitches... But I guess we're a team now. But, just know this, I'm the leader of this team! I! UMEKO HARUNO! GOD OF THE WORLD, AND YOU ASSHOLES! PECKING ORDER! YOU TWO ARE AT THE BOTTOM, I AM AT THE TOP! ALONG WITH DOUG! YOU WILL NOW BE MY MINIONS! BWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"The hell is wrong with her?" Daiki whispered.

"WeShouldJustLetTheGirlThinkShe'sInChargeForNow,CouldBeInteresting." Makoto said quickly.

"What?" Daiki asked.

I quickly pulled out my ultimate weapon.

My trusty whip!

Don't judge me.

I, fast as lightning, snapped the wig towards Daiki's ankle pulling before he had a chance to react. Gravity pulled him down, making him fall RIGHT ON HIS ASS!

"THE HELL, WOMAN?!" Daiki yelled.

"DON'T TALK WHILE I'M TALKIN'!" I yelled back at him.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU GET MAKOTO?! HE WAS TALKING TOO!"

"I DIDN'T HEAR HIM SAY A WORD!"

"WHAT A BLOODY SUPRISE!"

Suddenly, I felt a fist on top of my head, followed by pain.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" I yelled glaring up at Anko.

"You two, ignore this one. I am your commander, boss, alpha dog, whatever. My apprentice over here is just being an idiot as usual."

"HURTFUL!"

"Anyway, we will go and do that Team Bonding thing, then tomorrow we will meet at the Forest of Death once again for early morning training. I won't go easy on you, and if you don't do good, I'll leave your ass in the Forest of Death to fend for yourselves. And I bet none of you would last."

"ACCEPT ME!"

"Did you two hear something? Makoto? Daiki?" Anko asked looking at the two males.

"Nothing at all." the boys said, giving amused smiles.

"YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLES!" I yelled.

* * *

"Ready to start your early morning training?!" a grinning Anko asked at 6:00.

We all groaned, accept for Makoto who just stared forward looking exhausted.

"Today, we will be running." Anko said.

I groaned.

"Umeko, darling-"

"Don't call me that, Anko."

"Anko-sensei! And, will you please let me borrow your whip?" Anko asked sweetly.

"Nope." I said popping with the puh sound.

"WHIP. HAND. NOW. PLEASE!"

I groaned and threw her the whip.

She gave me a smile.

She did a group of handsigns and slammed her hand on the ground.

A giant snake appeared.

"Oh shit baskets..." I said looking up in awe of this snake.

"The hell is that?!" Daiki exclaimed.

"ObviouslyASnakeYouStupidIdiotWhoGotLostTryingToGetOutOfTheBirthCanal." Makoto said quietly.

"What?" Daiki and I both asked looking at the blond boy.

Anko jumped on the head of the snake and asked it to get closer to us.

"This exercise is simple. Run fast, and don't let the snake eat you. Zuruzuru over here is starving." Anko said.

I for one took off running. But the two boys were frozen in shock and terror.

Anko leaned forward towards them, giving them her most sadistic grin before performing a slight genjutsu on them making the sky behind her red as blood.

_"Run" _she whispered.

The two boys wasted no time speeding off.

"COME ON ZURUZURU! DON'T THESE HUMANS LOOK DELICIOUS!? SPEED UP, GIRL!" Anko yelled before cackling maliciously.

I turned back seeing Daiki in way in front of Makoto, paler than usual. Obviously, snakes were Daiki's mortal fear.

And of course I would remember that one, since it would most likely benefit me later.

Makoto on the other hand has a total poker face on. He has no fear in his face, actually he looked quite bored despite the fact that he was in the back, he was the slowest, and the snakes large jaws were about 7 inches from his head!

"GOD DAMN IT MAKOTO, SPEED UP YOU PSYCHOPATH ASSHOLE!" I yelled.

Makoto was silent, and didn't even seem to glance my way.

"DAIKI, GRAB HIS WRIST AND MAKE HIM SPEED UP!" I yelled behind me.

Daiki also ignored me obviously only thinking about getting his own self away from the snake.

"OH GOD DAMN IT!" I yelled slowing down. Daiki didn't give me the slightest glance as he flashed past me.

I was getting closer and closer to Makoto but the snake was so close to him. I sure as hell didn't want to die.

_'You stupid idiot! Just use your whip, and pull him towards you and literally drag him the hell out of there! Turn into the forest itself, and get yourself out of sight!' _my mind shouted.

I put my hand to my hip and noticed my whip wasn't there.

"DAMN IT, ANKO!" I yelled.

"Any better ideas, brain?!" I asked.

I heard nothing.

"Apparently not." I whispered.

Suddenly, I remembered our conversations.

Anko asked us about our fears.

She knew Daiki was deathly afraid of snakes.

She knew that he would run forward leaving us behind.

_'My god. This woman is testing me and what I will sacrifice for my team. Wow, well played, Anko.' _I thought.

"OH MY GOD, MAKOTO! THERE'S A BIG FUCKING CAT BACK THERE CHASING US!" I yelled slightly slowing down getting close to him.

I hoped that this would speed him up.

But, his eyes widened and he paled to an even whiter white than Daiki's pansy self.

Then, he stopped. And the jaws of the snake were right behind him.

I grabbed his hand pulling him roughly.

"LET'S GO YOU FUCKING FUCKNUGGET ASS BITCH!" I yelled running faster and faster leaving Anko and Zuruzuru in the dust.

Suddenly, we found Daiki staring upwards at a tall stone wall. There was no climbing up this rocky wall, and there was no going around it.

We stared forward at Anko and her snake buddy.

She jumped off the snake.

"Nice job, Zuruzuru, way to scare the living shit out of them." Anko said, petting its head.

"It'ssssss what I do..." the girl snake said before disappearing with a poof.

"So! You two did well with your first exercise. So, Makoto, Umeko. You two get to on taijutsu with me. Daiki over here, for abandoning your teammates on the field, you get extreme running exercises with my shadow clone. And there will be many, many snakes involved." Anko said.

"Wha-What?" Daiki asked fearfully.

"Byeeeeee~" Anko said waving.

Suddenly, Daiki slumped over.

I gave him a bored look, while Makoto looked plain worried.

"Don't worry about him, he's just in one hell of a genjutsu. A Dream of A Thousand Fears, good one to know." Anko said with a grin.

"Now let's roll, shall we?" Anko asked.

"Bitchin'!"

"Let'sRollNow,SnakePedophileWomanAndPinkHairedChild." Makoto said.

"What?" Anko and I both asked.

Makoto looked to the ground obviously not wanting to repeat himself.

Team Four Star was officially in session.

* * *

Feel happy I updated. I just downloaded the Clannad visual novel. But I told myself I'd update before I played. T^T

* * *

BaconOfDoom: Of course, but it's kinda been decided that Makoto and Daiki are staying. And I'm glad you like Makoto! He's a cutie! ^^

_Makoto: IDoNotKnowWhatToSay,I'mNotExactlyUsedToBeingLiked._

**Umeko: Get used to it, psychopath, they seem to love me for some weird reason too. But, their reasons ARE COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE! I'M AN AMAZING GOD! And, feel free to claim to THE ENTIRE WORLD OF HEATHENS, that you worship the almighty Umeko! **

NoIdea135: I hope so! And if I'm lucky, maybe I can characterize Daiki to where he's some what likable! I doubt it, but it could happen!

_Makoto: ThankYouForTheCompliment,IGuess. ThisWillTakeSomeGettingUsedTo._

Legendz25: Well, she has the balls to call Ino a pig, so I figured, "EEEEh, why not. Could be funny!"

**Umeko: FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS MY SHIP! DougXMomo all the way!**

Himeno Kazehito: XD Servants!

**Umeko: Those two aren't servants. Their useless maggots that are at my disposal as meat shields and cannon fodder! ^-^. And th-thhhhh-_aaaaaaaaaaaaank_ yoooooo. Okay, you know what I'm trying to say. And Doug appreciates the food. **

SatsuUzumaki: Those two are keepers!

**Umeko: Meat shields people, meat shields.**

GuestStar: I had to use Team 4, in honor of TEAMFOURSTAR! Sorry, references... XD

**Umeko: Actually, she forces prisoners or her Genin team to make her signs... She doesn't have an artistic bone in her body. One time she drew dango, and I could have she drew Pikachu's face.**

CaptorBlood: OOOOOooooooh, me likey! Actually, I planned on having Neji in this chapter, but Clannad calls my name! Sorry, I'm lazy! XD

**Umeko: Hmph. He's a bitch too.**

* * *

**WHOA! 80 reviews!?**

**I knew I was awesome, but Me damn it!**

**This awesome!**

**I don't know how to thank a person, it's not in my vocabulary.**

**But, I will ask, what's your ship for this fanfiction? Since we do have more shippable characters with my bitch of a team. **

Thanks for reading the script, Umeko-sama-senpai-dono-chan-chama-senpai-sama-senpai-sama.

**Piss off.**

But anyway, if your still for Neji and Umeko, or someone else... Tell me, please! It helps a lot with planning for the future. There won't be immediate romance, since Umeko is kind of uncapable of feeling love, and she's kind of a high functioning sociopath. With a god complex.

So, yeah, off to play Clannad now! Bye!


	14. Genin Arc IV

"FUCK IT! THESE MISSIONS ARE BORING!" I yelled as we left the Hokage's office the third time that day to turn in our D-Rank mission papers.

"Yeah, Anko-sensei! These suck! When are we gonna go out, fight some S-Class Nin, save the damsel in distress or whatever?!" Daiki asked.

"You three are no where near ready to defeat anyone over Genin level." Anko said looking down at the three of us.

"Anko! Come on! I don't know about these two idiots, but I'm able to defeat chunin, I bet I can defeat a Jonin! I'm god, fuck it I can hand anybody's ass to them!" I said confidently.

"Oh is that so? Hear how about we have a bet? We'll do the bell test again. Get both bells, I'll give you three a C-Rank mission outside of the village. Fail, and you three get to do my paperwork back at the T&I building instead of your break times when we train!" Anko said with an arrogant smirk.

"YouBothAreIdiot, I'dRatherNotGetInvolvedSoICanGetMyPreciousBreakSinceWeHaveNoChanceAtAll. HaveFunBeingRoastedAlive, I'llAttendYourFunerals." Makoto said before sitting down.

"I guess Makoto here's the smartest one, and he knows you have no chance at winning this bet!" Anko said laughing.

"Oh, Anko, don't you know I've been doing private studying. I have some tricks up my sleeves that you wouldn't even believe! YEAH! I'M SO AWESOME EVEN NARUTO CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" I yelled.

_Meanwhile, Naruto had a slight chill down his back as he was arguing with Sasuke, resulting in him getting whacked in the head by that damn Sakura._

"Yeah, Anko-sensei! I've been working on my taijutsu and ninjutsu solo! I've gotten way better since we last sparred!" Daiki exclaimed, excited to get in on the action.

"Oh, is that so? Let's begin!"

"Bitchin! Let's go!" I said.

_"Daiki! Jump back! Umeko, use your Plum Blossom Punch!" _Makoto's voice in my head said.

I looked over at him, and saw him doing the handsign and he seemed to be talking clear as day in my mind.

I smirked.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! FIRE STYLE: FIRE BALL JUTSU BITCH!" I yelled kneading my chakra inside of my body, making it come out in a medium sized fireball that was hurling right towards Anko.

She smirked and dodged.

_"Daiki! Use your Body Flicker and hit her with a short distance lightning attack!" _Makoto's angry voice yelled in our heads.

Daiki almost appeared to transport forward and then he yelled, "Gentle Fist Variation: Fist Slam!" Daiki was now in the Gentle Fist position and his hands seemed to be surrounded with lightning chakra instead of the normal blue glow.

With each jab he took at Anko, she dodged each one effectively and easily.

Then he finally feinted one of his jabs, seeming to be going for her arm, when he was actually going for her stomach.

It actually hit her, making her pause for a moment before jumping back out of his reach.

"I've been hit with Gentle Fist before, but that felt different. What'd you do, brat?" Anko said slightly gasping for breath.

"My father created a variation of Gentle Fist that forces an amount of lightening chakra into your body instead of just our regular chakra. My dad's a genius, especially for someone from the Branch family of the great Hyuga clan!" Daiki said proudly.

"PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled from behind Anko.

I gathered most of my chakra into my fist and punched her in knee.

"SHIT!" she yelled.

She fell down on the ground and looked up at me.

"See, this is what I hate about this world. Everyone feels like they need to talk during fights or explain what they did. THAT'S WHY YOU KICK THEY ASS WHILE THEY TALK AND IT'S ALL DONE AND OVER WITH!" I yelled about to punch her in the stomach.

She smirked and immediately poofed.

"No way..." I said looking down at nothing.

"How the hell was she a shadow clone?! She didn't poof when I hit her with the Gentle Fist!" Daiki exclaimed.

"I don't know, idiot! Maybe your precious taijutsu and Byakugan isn't as awesome as everyone says it is!" I said mockingly.

"Oh screw you! Like your weak little girl punch did anything! The only reason she poofed was to annoy me!"

"Oh did she? Did she really?" I asked.

"YEAH!"

"You, peasant, are getting on my nerves! LEARN YOUR PLACE!" I yelled, about to hit him with an ultra powered Plum Blossom Punch.

_"BOTH OF YOU IGNORANT, DENSE, VACUOUS, IMBECILIC TWATTS! SHUT THE HELL UP AND FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND! WHILE YOU TWO WERE SCREWING AROUND ARGUEING ABOUT YOUR PETTY POWER LEVELS, SENSEI COULD HAVE EASILY PUT ALL OF US IN A GENJUTSU AND WE COULD LOSE! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU BUT I DON'T WANT TO SIT AROUND STAMPING PAPER AFTER PAPER AFTER PAPER! I WANT TO HAVE MY FREE TIME TO READ OR SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP ME GET SOMEWHERE IN LIFE! SO YOU TWO IDIOTS CAN STOP, SHUT UP, AND WORK TOGETHER BY MY ORDER TO WIN OR I SWEAR YOU WILL REGRET IT SINCE I CAN AND WILL GET THE TWO OF YOU ALONE AND USE A RUSTY KUNAI TO DIG OUT YOUR CORTEX'S AND FEED THEM TO MY DOG!" _Makoto's angry voice yelled in our head.

"What's a cortex?" Daiki asked.

"Why the hell can't you talk like this in somewhere that's not our mindscape! Like in real life! Hell, that would make this more entertaining." I commented.

"_Daiki, use your Byakugen to make sure that we're not in a genjutsu." _Makoto's now calm voice said.

"We're all good." Daiki said.

"Alright, Team Four Star, minus a psychopath! Let's find our sensei!" I said.

"Scan the area for foreign chakra, or Anko." I commanded.

"*grumble* show you* grumble grumble* chakra" Daiki grumbled.

_"Daiki, I swear to god..." _Makoto warned.

"Did you call?" I asked, smirking.

"I don't see her, I've looked up, and all of our sides." Daiki said.

"Well, then there's another place she could possibly be. PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled punching the ground with all my might.

She flew up out of the ground.

"It's about time you noticed!" Anko said. With a sadistic grin she began throwing senbon after senbon at us.

I quickly got my whip out and snapped it towards her ankle.

She immediately had a kunai out and threw it at where the whip was going, cutting threw the leather.

I pulled it back and saw that a fourth of it was cut off.

"Bitch just broke my whip." I said.

"Ah, really? I had no idea!" Anko commented sarcastically.

"Oh hell no! Show some respect for your god!" I yelled using every ounce of speed I could muster to be up there in a second.

I began barrage her with chakra infused punches and kicks.

She easily dodged or caught each one, throwing in a counter attack.

Daiki then joined in on the barrage. We both seemed to be efficiently attacking her as a team, which I'm sure she was happy to see.

That's when she took out a kunai and slashed my arm, than his calf.

At first it just burned, but then, it began to make me see things that weren't there. I saw all sort of images.

I saw Happy flying and landing in a tree, Rena from Higurashi giving me her psycho face, and what I thought was Kyubey on Anko's shoulder.

"Genjutsu?" I asked, falling down from disorientation.

"Ino?!" a blushing Daiki exclaimed looking as if he was disorientated also, staring at a tree.

"Who needs genjutsu when you have a poisoned kunai?" Anko said.

Suddenly, she paused.

"Er-Makoto!?" she exclaimed, frozen.

"_Umeko,ThisIsMakoto. GrabTheBellsThisInstantSinceTheBestICanDoIsMakeHerFreezeForNoMoreThan10Seconds."_ Anko said quickly with her eyes glazed over.

I looked at the bells that were waving at me.

I tried to get up, but failed.

I crawled closer and grabbed at them.

I missed.

I was seeing three of everything.

I tried the middle one, missed again.

Then I went for the one on the left and felt the bells.

I grabbed them, and tried to pull them off.

I felt something sharp against my neck.

I looked up at Anko who had another kunai up against my neck.

"Come on, Umeko. You lost, we're done here." Anko said with a confident smirk.

I gave my own smirk, and felt myself begin to lose consciousness.

I was able to say one thing as I fell back with the bells still in my hands.

"Bitch please..." Then I blacked out.

* * *

I woke up in my dark purple room and rubbed the sleep boogers out of my eyes.

I saw my teddy bear and gave him a hug.

"Dougy, Doug!" I cooed at the stuffed bear.

"Good to see your awake, Umeko!" Anko's voice sang.

"Wha-What?! When?!" I kept stuttering, quickly hiding the stuffed bear behind my back.

"You've been out for a day! Hope you got good rest, our C-Rank starts in a few hours!" Anko sang before disappearing with a poof.

It took me a minute to process what she said.

"FUCK YEAH! HELL YES! LET'S GO! LET'S GO! ANDIAMO! ALLONS-Y BITCH!" I yelled.

Suddenly I heard running footsteps sounding like a bull.

"I feel a dark presence behind that door." I said calmly.

My mother ran in and immediately latched herself onto me.

"UMEKO! SWEET HEART! ARE YOU OKAY?! DO YOU NEED WATER? BANDAGES? ANYTHING?!" Mom asked, almost crying.

"Air would be appreciated, Mom!" I struggled to say.

She let go giving me a warm smile.

"No need to give me special treatment just cause I passed out... You can go to your favorite now." I said.

"Umeko, Sakura is not my favorite. I don't have a favorite!" Mom said.

"Oh really? Remember that surprise party for Sakura I wasn't invited to, despite the fact we have the same birthday?!" I growled.

"We sang your name too!" Mom defended.

"My name wasn't on the cake!" I said, slowly getting louder.

"THE BAKER WAS LATE ON GETTING THE SECOND CAKE, UMEKO!"

"LIES! IF YOU HATE WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD?! OH NO, THEN WE'D LOOK LIKE AN IMPERFECT FAMILY! NOT THAT DOESN'T ALREADY LOOK LIKE ONE! SO WHY DON'T YOU GIVE YOUR FAKE WORRY TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY NEEDS IT?! MAYBE GIVE IT TO THAT WEAKLING SAKURA, I BET YOU SHE FELL DOWN AND GOT A CUT ON HER KNEE! AND SHE STILL NEEDS MOMMY TO FIX IT FOR HER!" I yelled.

"UMEKO! STOP TRYING TO PUSH EVERYONE AWAY FROM YOU! PEOPLE LOVE YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"

"TOLERATE! THAT'S ALL YOU DO! YOU'RE WAITING FOR THE DAY I TURN CHUNIN SO I CAN GET OUT, AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS MONEY ON ONE OF THE BIGGEST FAILURES YOU'VE EVER HAD!"

"Umeko?" Dad's kind voice said.

I looked over at probably one the few people in my family I could tolerate.

"Hey, Dad." I said.

"I made some pickled plum rice balls, just the way you like them!" he said with a smile.

I gave him a smirk before getting up and leaving my room to go to the deliciousness of rice balls.

As I left, I passed Sakura who gave me an angry, yet sad look.

"What is it, Forehead?" I asked.

"You need to stop being so mean to Mom! She cares about us and you need to stop-"

"Noooooooooooot caring!" I sang.

That's when she threw a clumsy punch at me.

I caught it with out even looking at her.

I turned around and glared at her.

"Oh, shall we take this outside, Forehead?" I asked with a smirk.

"Ready when you are, bitch." Sakura said with a glare and smirk, identical to mine.

* * *

"I only have a few hours to finish this fight, pack, and maybe visit with Hinata. So, I'll finish this quick so I can do things that actual ninja would do." I said.

"I am an actual ninja!" she exclaimed.

"No, your a girl who stands with a kunai in her hands. Now, if you don't mind, I'll be throwing the first punch. PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled.

I was instantly in front of her, giving her a good deck in the face.

She was thrown back and held her bloody nose.

She stood back up, getting out her kunai.

"Oh, look at that? A kunai? How extraordinary!" I said mockingly.

She put it in her mouth, before doing a hand sign.

"Clone Jutsu!" she exclaimed, running at me with three illusionary clones.

"Oh, that's cute. SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Three more me's punching the ground when the Sakura's got closer.

"PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" we all yelled, punching with as much chakra as we could muster. Two Sakura's disappeared as they flew back. The real Sakura did a back flip and landed.

"Oh! You can do a back flip? I'm so impressed! But, you're so far away! Let's get you a little bit closer, shall we, sister dearest?" I said.

I got out my now fixed whip and snapped it towards her.

It wrapped around her waist and easily pulled her forward towards me.

I held out my fist and it collided with her face again.

She was still wrapped up so I gave her a sadistic smirk and began to repeatedly to kidney punches.

"Kidney punch! Kidney punch! Kidney punch! Aaaaand, kidney punch!" I said as I punched.

Now she was barely standing and looking at me with almost dazed eyes.

I unwrapped the whip, then poked her right in the forehead.

She fell down, hitting the ground like a sack of bricks.

I looked at the girl, laying there a bruised and bloody mess.

"Next time, challenge me after you've trained, instead of doing your hair." I said then, she was officially passed out.

I groaned and kneeled down, healing her.

Now, I did not make the bruises go away, since it was such a proud moment for me. But I at least made most of the pain go away. She would wake up within 30 minutes.

I put her on my back and used an attempted Body Flicker to carry her home.

I was in front of our house where I saw Mom gardening.

"Hi, Mom." I said setting her down.

She looked at Sakura who I sat on the ground.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" I could hear Mom's shout.

I Body flickered upstairs and quickly put all my stuff in the many storage scrolls I had.

I ran downstairs giving Dad a quick kiss on the cheek, hey don't judge me, I'm a Daddy's girl. Then I ran out the door, where Mom was checking Sakura's temperature.

"Bye, Mom! I said.

I ran to the Hyuga Compound where I was stopped by two Hyuga guards.

"Who are you?" they asked.

"Ko, Tokuma. You know who I am. And, Tokuma, dude, I'm on your son's team. You should know me WHEN YOU SEE ME! Seriously, you two have known me since I was kid visiting Hinata! Is this even necessary?!" I exclaimed.

"The total lack of respect and class makes it obvious this isn't some intruder. Who are you here for?" Ko asked.

"Hinata, who the hell did you think I was here for? That damn Neji who keeps stealing my training grounds? Or Daiki who I already have to spend enough time with!? Oh my god. I'm going to see, Hinata. BYE!" I said stomping past the two that did nothing to stop me.

I opened the door to the Clan head's house in the large compound.

I looked directly up at Hiashi Hyuga.

"Oh, hey Mr. Hinata's dad, sir!" I said.

"Oh, it's you. Why are you here? You know I don't approve of you being around my daughter." Hiashi said sternly.

"You know you love me. Since, if it wasn't for me and my amazing social skills, Hinata would still be stuttering and quiet. Now, I'm going to go see her now, bye!" I began to shove past him, when he grabbed my shoulder.

"Whoa, bro. Don't know ya like that! Don't touch me like that! Stranger danger, man!" I exclaimed.

"Take care of her." he said, almost looking like it pained him to say it.

"Yeah, okay..." I said.

I walked into her lavender room.

She looked at me as if she were surprised to see me.

"Umeko?" Hinata exclaimed.

"Hey, Hinata. I've gotta C-Rank mission in about an hour so I figured I'd stop by, and what is it that girls do? Talk? Yeah have that social activity thing." I said.

"I'm really happy for you and your team, Umeko!" Hinata said with a small smile.

"Your on the team with Daiki, right?" she asked.

"Sadly..." I grumbled.

"He's really nice when you get to know him!" Hinata said.

"Maybe to you, since you are the princess. But he's a total ass to me and our team. He abandoned us like scum, cause of some snake!" I exclaimed.

"His mother... His mother was killed by a snake when he was about nine. He was right there with her. She was telling him that they were beautiful, majestic creatures that were cunning and smart. When she picked it up, it bit her. She died within minutes, and Daiki froze. Neji found him frozen with tears running down his face about an hour later. She was really nice." Hinata said.

_'Everybody has to have a damn backstory... Man, how am I gonna live with this?' _I thought.

"Fine, I guess I learned not to use 'Your mom' comebacks." I said.

Hinata giggled.

"My team and I went to the Hokage mountain and picked flowers yesterday for this florist that was so sweet! She even taught me how to make a healing salve!"

"Oh, and here's when the conversation gets boring... Going now, bye!" I said quickly leaving.

* * *

mass-defect: This should take you about three minutes to read maybe! XD

easilyaddictedgirl: Hm... and no problem! The whip is so fun! I feel like I'm writing Indiana Jones!

**Umeko: Girl, if I decide to tame that sheep, I'd be the dominate one. I'd where the pants in the family, and he'd where the skirts like off that weird chibi version of Naruto with Rock Lee and stuff.**

TargetFailed: It's a maybe! I'm deciding between NejixUmeko and MakotoxUmeko.

**Umeko: I ship myself with the only person that is equal to me in power and awesomeness. ME!**

bacon of doom: There's this site called and you have to use Utorrent to download it. Loving it so far! T^T

**Umeko: He hot, if I can say so myself. Buuuuuuut, I'm a high functioning sociopath, so I don't love.**

As of yet... *BakaChan whispers ever so slightly*

Guest (Not GuestStar): Thanks a lot! And, *sigh* decisions, decisions... Makoto or Neji... Names... What's in a name?

**Umeko: DAMN IT BAKACHAN DON'T QUOTE HAKUNA MATATA!**

Actually it was originally in Romeo and Juliet

**DON'T QUESTION THE ALMIGHTY UMEKO! I KNOW ALL!**

Legendz25: If you notice, Umeko doesn't use the term sensei with teachers or masters. She just uses an insulting nickname or their real name if she actually semi-respects them. And there has also been a few time skips and I wanted to show a few things she learned to do. Like in this chapter, I showed she knows a bit of medical-ninjutsu. She's no prodigy, but she had to have perfect chakra control to use the Plum Blossom Punch (Cherry Blossom Clash in the Naruto video games) so she also did a bit of medical ninjutsu since these two both tie together with Tsunade. I really hope none of this came out rude! If it did, I'm sorry!

CaptorBlood:Hm... Knowing her, it's a high possibility. Actually, it's possible with whoever she gets with. *Thinks about Makoto in a Doug costume* PSHAHahahahhahahahAHAHhahhaahahahahaha!

**Umeko: Ehhh... I was thinking she'd be my underpaid assistant. I was going to saving that job for Sakura so she can be forced into a Doug suit and have to say, "I'm a Bloody Idiot!" when ever someone walks into my shrine.**

Slytherson: Loving your name! And, YAY! NEW FOLLOWER AND FAVORITER! Yuuuuuu make me so happy! :D And thank you for reading, friend with an amazing name (Harry Potter reference?) Now, all I have to do is find someone that has a Doctor Who reference name, or recognizes the Doctor Who reference in this chapter... Oh the happiness it shall bring me!

**Umeko: Do I have a new person who would like to convert themselves to Umekoism? It's a simple process. Just get a teddy bear, name it Doug. Talk to it everyday about how awesome I am, then your done!**

Bloodshot111: LOL

**Umeko: So... Hi...**

Himeno Kazehito: Stupid school, making me update less... ;P

**Umeko: Happy to be a ninja...**

_Makoto: WeAreJustGenin, NothingExactlyToBeHappyAbout..._

**GET OUT OF MY COMMENT SECTION, PSYCHOPATH!**

_Makoto: Antisocial,I'mJustAntiSocialANDaPsychopath._

**What?**

GuestStar: Me too! The team is so fun to write about! Their socialization is fun for me, I guess! And, I tried to put Neji in this, I really did! But all I could do was just mention him. Maybe soon, Gueststar... Maybe soon...

**Umeko: My most loyal Gueststar, no question for me? Not even a, "Hey your awesome, and you totally do not look like a lesbian like your mother and sister says!" Nothing? That hurts...**

ToughChick: I think Makoto is my number two also, or number one... I don't know...

_Makoto: ThankYou, ThatIsVeryKind... ThankfullySomeOneWho'sNotTotallyATotalIgnoramusCanHearMeAndMyComments..._

* * *

**This is Umeko, SO LISTEN UP! **

**I have an announcement. This story has...**

**Gotten...**

**90 reviews in 13 chapters! **

**This is amazing, though I know the Author didn't do anything to help, I'm glad you all love me so much and you all reviewed for me.**

**So, keep on doing what your doing!**

She means thank you for all the reviews of support and niceness! Thankfully the flamers haven't arrived yet...

*hides behind Makoto*

I hope I didn't jinx it!

_Anyway, ThankYouAll. AndPleaseCheckOutBakaChan'sProfileForLinkstoArtSoYouCanSeeWhatWeLookLikeAndStuff..._

**So, if there are any Sherlockians out there... Favorite villain?**

**And for those who haven't seen Sherlock, who's ready for a new rival! Because it wouldn't be a BakaChan story without a bitter, OC rival!**

* * *

Hey, mass-defect! Almost 4,000 words! How long did it take you, friend? XD


	15. Genin Arc V

I ran towards the Hokage Tower with pure anticipation. I was ready for a C-Rank and everything that came with it! More money, bigger fights, and leaving the village to spread Umekoism to the world of heathens! When, I finally arrived at the tower, I saw Anko, Daiki, and Makoto waiting or me with impatient looks on their faces.

"God has arrived! Let's roll, heathens!" I said.

Anko grabbed me by the back of my shirt, lifting me up as if I was a puppy. She looked at me.

"This, Umeko, is a C-Rank mission. We won't have time for fooling around, arguing, and your damn pride. Got it, brat? We shouldn't be fighting anyone that is stronger than your average bandit, Chunin at the worst. So, you will have to listen to me. And if I'm not around, Makoto is in charge." Anko said.

"WHAT?!" Daiki and I both yelled.

"Why the hell is he in charge?! We can't even hear him talking most of the time! Plus, I'm far superior to both of these two in taijutsu and I can kick anybody's ass no problem!" I said.

"My eyes can see and sense danger, Anko-sensei! I'm made for being leader, not to be some meat shield!" Daiki whined.

"Shut up both of you! While I've been working with the both of you on taijutsu, ninjutsu, and shurikenjutsu, I have been working with Makoto along with Inoichi to get him better with the Yamanaka hidden jutsu. He's been working harder than the both of you combined, and he's fit for the job as leader. While working with Inoichi, he's been working on strategy with Shikaku and Shikamaru Nara. Both genius's. Makoto knows what he's to do on this mission if things go wrong and he has to step up as leader. His genjutsu is critical for our backup plan. So you two will listen to him, or you'll be in for hell, GOT IT?!" Anko said, yelling at Daiki and me as she said the last two words.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" I said throwing a glare at the blond boy.

"Yes, Anko-sensei!" Daiki said sadly.

"Alright, Team Four, let's go get your first C-Rank!" Anko said with a smile.

We followed Anko in passing Chunin and Jonin alike.

I saw Team 7 getting a D-Rank resulting in Naruto yelling my name and waving like crazy. I ignored the boy and kept walking.

"Hello, Lord Hokage. I'd like to request a C-Rank for Team Four." Anko said.

The old man took his pipe out of his mouth.

"Hey, Hokage, my man. I'm only sayin' this cause I worry 'bout your health, you should really stop smoking' it can give ya cancer and make ya look older than you already do-OW!" I said, holding the back of my head from the smack Anko gave me.

The Hokage sighed, and nodded. He looked through the scrolls on his desk muttering a bunch of words. He found one and gave it to Anko.

"Your mission is to escort a young boy from this village to the Land of the Waves."

'_Shit baskets…'_

"And protect him from any dangers for three weeks, then escort him back. He's about seven years old and he'll be visiting his sister and grandfather. Bring in Akira Tatsuya, Kenichi!" the Hokage said.

A Chunin brought in a short boy with bright purple eyes and light brown hair. And frankly, he was kind of adorable. Yeah, yeah, I hate little brats with a passion, but he was just a cutie, what can I say?

The smiling boy came in and bowed to us.

'_It's about time a commoner bows to me!' _

"Hello, my name is Akira Tatsuya! Please take care of me!" he said in a high pitched voice.

"He's so CUTE!" Anko sang, hugging the young boy who just seemed to be glad to be there.

"Uh, Anko, shouldn't we get going, pedophile?" I asked.

Anko twitched and gave me a look that said she's just going to forget what I just called her.

"Let's go now!" Anko said, holding the little boys hand, pulling him along.

We finally got on the road, and Anko was walking in front, while Makoto and I were on each side of the kid, and Daiki was in the back with his Byakugan on.

"So, Ms. Umeko, are you a ninja?" he asked.

"You sure as hell know it. I'm the best, way better than the rest of the bitches on my team." I said confidently.

Daiki gave me a slight glare, Makoto didn't even seem to hear me, and Anko just gave me a glare that either said, "I'll kill you in your sleep," or, "If you cuss again, you going through ten stages of hell within the genjutsu I have prepared for you."

"Really?! Does that mean you can run really, really fast?! And fly! Blow fire out of your mouth? Turn a boulder into rubber with one super punch?!" Akira asked enthusiastically.

"Damn right!" I said, enjoying all of the admiration the boy had for me.

"You're so cool, Ms. Umeko!" he exclaimed.

"Hm. Actually, kid. The best she can do is do a weak little girl punch. And maybe hit someone with a string." Daiki said.

"Excuse you, heathen, but all you do is poke people and put chakra in them. It's not like you have some hack eyes like the Sharingan, which is way better." I said.

"Don't compare the great Byakugan to the Sharingan! Our clan totally outweighs the Uchiha clan!" Daiki retorted.

"Oh really?" I asked.

"Yeah!"

"Frankly, BothOfYouIsWrongBecauseTheLegendaryRinneganBeatsBothOfThoseEyesByAVeryBigShot." Makoto said.

"Don't you mean long shot?" I asked.

"What" Daiki asked.

"Get the dead brain cells out of your ears, Daiki, and try listening. Then maybe you'll hear the psychopath!" I said to the Hyuga.

"Funny, weren't you the one that failed kunoichi studies? Which all you do is gather flowers and learn how to make tea…"

"Oh, how would you know, Hyuga? Did you take that class too?" I asked.

"Oh my god!" Anko muttered.

"You called?" I muttered, slightly chuckling to myself.

"The both of you need to shut up and focus on the mission. We have to focus on protecting this boy and that alone. While the two of you were arguing, Daiki over here turned off the Byakugan in fury causing our eyes in the back to be useless!" Anko said.

Daiki immediately turned back on his Byakugan.

"And you two wonder why I won't let you two lead." Anko said glaring at us.

"Sorry, Anko-sensei…" Daiki said, looking actually sad about what he had done.

I was silent, angered at the fact that I, Umeko Haruno, was being lectured. Anko had the pleasure of my graceful company, and she dares to lecture me? I tightened my fist, trying to keep my anger under control.

Suddenly, I felt a hand grab my wrist.

"Wanna play, I Spy?" he asked.

I looked at the seven year old and nodded.

"Hmph. Sure, whatever…"

"Okay, I spy with my little eye, something… Blue!" the boy said.

"The water…"

"Nope!"

"The sky…"

"Nope!"

"Uhhh… Your shirt?"

"Nope!" he said.

"I-uh-don't know…" I said.

"The blond guy's eyes!" Akira said giggling.

"Oh, look how far the great _god _Umeko has fallen. Being beaten by a seven year old at a kid's game! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Daiki said as he laughed.

I could hear Anko's muffled chuckles from in front of us.

I saw Makoto's eyes slightly light up with amusement.

Everyone was laughing but me, red with anger and embarrassment.

'_First being lectured for something that was NOT my fault, now this! I swear to my godly self, that if this go's any more south, I'll hit Ninja Mexico!'_ I thought.

But, I couldn't get out this little voice laughing. But, I just dismissed it as part of my imagination.

Everyone soon went silent, excluding the seven year old who kept talking to me and Makoto, and occasionally sticking out his tongue at Daiki.

You can just imagine my delight when we made it there, with nothing going wrong. Can I just say that this was the most boring trip in the history of all things boring. No bandits, no powerful enemies, no training. Just walking. The most fun I had was arguing with Daiki, and maybe playing little games with the human version of Winnie the Pooh, Akira.

When we got to the house we knocked on the door and a pretty lady, seemed to only be about 16 or 17 opened the door. She had a much more dull purple color of eyes and red hair. She had a long green robe like dress on, one without sleeves showing a slightly muscular arm, and the other sleeve was long hiding her entire arm and hand.

"Big sister Yoko!" Akira exclaimed, literally jumping to give her hug.

She gave him a warm, loving smile as she hugged the small back.

"Akira, it's so great to see you!" She said in a luscious tone of voice, sounding like how silk feels.

"This is my big sister, Yoko!" Akira said introducing us.

"Yoko, these are the super ninjas that walked me here! Mommy had them come with me!" he said.

Her smile slightly faltered when he mentioned his mom.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all. My name is Yoko Mami!" she said cheerfully.

"I'm Anko Mitarashi, these are my students, Umeko Haruno, Makoto Yamanaka, and Daiki Hyuga." She said.

Yoko immediately bowed to us.

"Please come in! I'm sorry for the mess, we weren't expecting anyone other than Akira. But, we do have extra bedrooms. So, please make yourself at home. Just please do not go into the room at the end of the hall. Grandfather is very sick in there and shouldn't be disturbed." She said.

"So, Akira, show them the extra rooms if you could. I'll start on some snacks, okay?!" Yoko chirped, walking happily to the kitchen.

"I'll come with!" Daiki said, following Yoko with an intense blush on his face.

I looked at Daiki with the biggest "WTF?" face ever, as Akira led us through the house, showing us where the bedrooms were, the bathroom, and where the back door was in case we wanted to make ourselves stronger in the backyard.

"Well, this is a damn big farm." I said to Anko.

"Yeah, they do. It's a beautiful farm." Anko commented.

I was silent.

"Do you wanna go destroy something?" Anko asked.

"Bitchin' let's do!" I said.

We both made the hand signs for the Shadow Clone Jutsu.

"Alright, guard the perimeter, learn every inch of this farm and make sure there are no traps waiting for us. And, once you're done, if it doesn't belong to someone, destroy something, then you can come back. Got it?" Anko commanded.

"Got it!" they said running outside.

I walked to the living room. I saw Makoto was keeping to himself, playing Shogi with himself.

'_What a psycho, seriously…' _I thought.

I heard giggling and saw Daiki was flirting hardcore with Yoko.

'_So bored…'_

"Hey, Makoto… How do you play Shogi?" I asked.

He looked up at me with one eyebrow tilted up.

"What? I'm bored as hell, and you're doing something I can totally kick your ass at!" I said.

He quickly reset the board.

"YourMove." He said softly with a smirk.

"Oh. My. Shit. H-wha-HOW THE HELL DID I LOSE!?" I yelled.

"YouWereAsYouPutIt, 'WingingIt', ThatWasYourMajorFault." He said.

"What?" I asked.

He just shrugged and waved me away.

"I HATE YOUR PSYCHOTIC MUTE STOIC MOTHER FUCKING ASS SO MUCH! GO TO HELL!" I yelled stomping away.

Yoko and Daiki's heads popped out of the room looking at Makoto.

"What happened?" they both asked.

"UmekoIsBeingASoreLoserAsUsual." Makoto said.

"What?" They both asked.

He just waved those two away, and they continued to cook.

"Anko, can we spar?" I asked the Jonin.

She looked up from the scroll she had been reading.

"What, did you lose at something again?" Anko asked.

"NO! I WON SO GOOD, THAT I'M JUST TWO PUMPED TO STOP!" I yelled.

Anko smirked.

"Sure, I've been anxious for a good fight." She said, getting up and dusting herself off.

"FIRE STYLE: FLAME DRAGON JUTSU!"

"PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!"

"Second loss in one day. Second loss in one day. Second loss in one day…" I kept muttering ignoring the first degree burns on my arms, and bruises all over my body.

Anko patted my head. "Come on, brat, I think Daiki and Yoko made us some pickled plum rice balls and udon." She said.

"That'll make me feel a little better…" I muttered.

"Second loss in one day… Second loss in one day… Second loss in one day…" I said.

"So, how's the rice balls?" Daiki asked us as we ate.

"Good, I guess…" Anko said.

Makoto stayed silent.

"Average." I muttered.

Yoko twitched, and had chibi tears running down her face.

"Oh-I'm sorry! I'll d-d-do much better next time, Ms. Haruno!" she said.

"Umeko! Why did you say that?" Daiki defended the pretty red head.

"It's okay! I'm glad she said that! Hearing this will make me a better cook in the end! I'll do even better and make some culinary gold!" she said, having a look with pure determination.

"You're so perfect!" Daiki almost sang.

"You know the rules, Daiki. No flirting at the table!" Anko teased.

"Wha-wha-wha-WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Daiki stuttered.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeew, that's gross!" Akira commented.

"I don't wanna share a room with Makoto again!" Daiki said the next night.

"Oh really? Why?" Anko asked.

"He talks in his sleep! I got up to use the bathroom last night, and you know what happened?! He said that we have to go somewhere! I asked where, he said, **to rot in hell like the pigs we are.** I don't know about you, but I THINK THAT WAS CREEPY! HE WAS CHANTING DEATH RITUAL BULL SHIT, AND I HAD NIGHTMARES!" Daiki yelled.

"OhThatWasTheMostPleasantDream." Makoto said.

"Ooooh, terrifying…" I said sarcastically.

"Shut up! YOU WEREN'T THERE!" Daiki yelled at me.

"So what, do you want to sleep in the same room as Anko and I?" I asked.

He seemed to have a terrifying thought of how it would be to sleep in the same room as us.

"NONONONONONONONONONONONO!" he yelled.

"Do you want to sleep in the room with Akira?" Anko asked.

"Not if I can help it…" Daiki said, looking at the young boy who looked tired and grumpy.

"Oh, so you're implying that you want to sleep in the same room as Yoko?" I asked.

Daiki and Yoko's faces immediately turned a bright red.

"Oh my god." Anko said looking at Daiki with disgust.

"No, I didn't-"

"HowDisgusting, EspeciallyForAQuoteHyugaElite" Makoto said.

"But, I-"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeew, icky!" Akira said.

"God damn it, Umeko!"

"Daiki's a pervert!" I said with a smirk.

"YOU, DAIKI WILL BE SLEEPING IN THE ROOM WITH MAKOTO, OR YOU CAN SLEEP OUTSIDE WITH THE ROACHES!" Anko yelled.

The entire time Anko lectured him, he switched from an utterly mortified look to a harsh glare towards me.

"Ms. Umeko! Mr. Makoto! Let's play tag, okay?" Akira said.

I sighed, "Fine whatever…" I said.

"TAG YOUR IT!" Akira yelled, poking my arm and running away.

I looked towards Makoto who was already gone.

"OH IT IS ON, NINJA DONKEY KONG!" I yelled running through fields, and even into the forest chasing after the boys.

Akira's POV

I really, really wanted to go see Grandpa. I hadn't seen him at all those three weeks, and he was the reason I came to Wave Country. While Mommy and Daddy don't like me talking to big sister Yoko, I still love her.

But, I had to at least say hi to Grandpa. If he was sick as Yoko said, he had to have been lonely, since I've only seen her go into see him when she was bringing him food.

I got up way after bed time, tiptoeing towards his room, dodging the creaky floorboards. I opened the creaky door.

I tiptoed in and saw grandpa completely under the sheets in his bed.

"Grandpa…" I whispered, trying to shake him awake.

I took the sheets off of his face and I saw blood on the corner of his mouth, and he looked blue. He was cold, and his eyes instead of a dark purple color, they were a light grey color. I didn't hear his breath, or the smell of peppermint and smoke.

He stunk.

"G-Grandpa?" I asked shaking him.

"Oh, Akira? So you've discovered what happened to Grandpa…" Yoko's voice said from behind me.

I turned around to my older sister, whose eye's instead of looking happy, they looked weird, not exactly sad, but just strange.

"Stress. Stress is what killed him. Stress over you. He was so worried about what would happen to his precious grandson if it was just you and his father walking. Neither of them ninjas. Just weaklings. Just human. So, you killed Grandpa. I already had many reasons to hate you and your bitch of a mother." Yoko said walking closer. My vision was getting blurry with the tears running down my face.

"But, now I'll kill you, but not here." She said.

I was grabbed from behind, one hand lifting me up, the other hand over my mouth.

I bit his hand so hard, that blood was in my mouth.

"HELP ME, UME-" the hand now was pressed harder over my mouth, making sure that I wouldn't be able to bite it again.

"Damn brat!" a man's voice growled.

"Alright, Keichi, come on. Let's get to the woods, kill this little fuck, and we can run away together like I promised." Yoko said.

"Boys, take care of the ninja in the other room." Keichi commanded.

"Take care of what now?" Anko asked.

"That's the Jonin!" Keichi exclaimed.

Two different ninja leaped forward, barraging Anko with taijutsu. Yoko and Keichi dropped a smoke bomb, making all three of us disappear.

Umeko's POV

When I saw Yoko and Keichi I noticed that she looked the same. Now that she was acting like a total bitch, it didn't make her hair turn black, or make her change into dark clothes or anything. It was just her eyes. Her dull purple eyes looked soulless and insane.

'_Oh, how I love the insane enemies. Their much more entertaining.' _I thought with a smirk.

When they disappeared, I saw that the door was left wide open.

"Hmph. Their underestimating us." I whispered.

I sprinted forward and began to jump out of the window.

I was immediately joined by Daiki and Makoto.

"_Daiki, Umeko. We have to run back to Konoha." _Makoto's voice said in our heads.

"What?!" I asked, glaring at Makoto.

"Now, I know you've gone absolutely, bloody insane!" Daiki exclaimed.

"_If we are being attacked, and we are separated, we are to run straight back to Konoha. And if we are engaged as we escape, I was to put all enemies into a genjutsu so we can run."_

"Okay, you know what, Makoto? I am not leaving this kid. This kid is innocent, and Y-Yoko has to be stopped before something happens!" Daiki said, seeming to choke up when he said Yoko's name.

"I really couldn't care less what happens to the child." I stated, ignoring the looks of surprise and hatred.

"That's what I would have said a few weeks ago. I hate kids, and frankly, I don't like humanity too much in general. The pain he feels means nothing to me. I really wish I could say that, but I can't. I'm going to save Akira. With or without the two of you. Actually, I would rather the both of you leave and help Anko, because I'm going to do the one and only paragon thing I will do in my life. And you two will only get in the way." I said, looking forward.

"Sorry, we can't do that." Daiki said.

"Why is that, Hyuga?!" I asked.

"Because we're a-"

"Bitchin'" Makoto said.

"Ninja." Daiki continued.

"Team." We all said together, because I could easily tell what was about to be said.

"Fine, Makoto, what do we do? Cause Team Four Star is about to bash some heads!" Daiki said.

"_They most likely will either try to either ambush us, or take us all out once we get caught up." _

"Byakugan!" Daiki said.

"Duck!" he immediately yelled.

Shuriken came flying at us from the darkness.

"Where the hell is the ass who did that?!" I asked, looking around.

"You two, run ahead and try to catch up with them." Daiki said.

"I'll handle things with this guy." Daiki said.

"Kay, good luck." I said, immediately running ahead.

Makoto also followed, slightly bowing his head to the brave Hyuga.

A shuriken was thrown through the darkness at me.

Hyuga was immediately there, hitting the shuriken back at the darkness with his Gentle First.

"Do you think that damn Hyuga will be alright?" I asked.

"_I am surprised to see you worried."_ Makoto said.

"Bitch please. It would just suck to have him die while on a mission with me. The Hyuga Clan wouldn't let me talk to Hinata if that happened." I said.

"_Keep telling yourself that, Umeko."_ Makoto said.

In a split second I found myself with surrounded by instruments, and music that looked like they from the real world, but were in an anime, so it was unsettling. Actually, the only thing I could compare this to was the labyrinths in Madoka Magica. I half expected to see a witch and Kyubey there.

"The fuck is going on?! I yelled, seeing each letter that I said float away into the air.

"You are exactly where you belong… Hell…" a dark voice said. The voice seemed to surround me and try to suffocate me.

"O-oh… R-really? PSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU THINK THAT I, UMEKO FUCKIN' HARUNO, IS AFRAID OF HELL? OH, COME ON! IF YOUR GONNA PUT ME IN A GENJUTSU, your gonna have to do much better than that." I said.

"RELEASE!" I said.

I was now on the ground, looking up at Makoto who was standing still staring at the man that was accompanying Yoko.

"-the fuck?" I asked.

"Go on. I'm in the middle of a genjutsu battle. All that is left is Yoko, and if you don't hurry, Akira will be dead." Both guys said, obviously it was Makoto speaking to me.

"Bitchin' Body Flicker time!" I said.

I focused my chakra in my legs, making me faster and faster as I ran to save Akira.

I then, saw Yoko with a large cleaver in her hand, about to swing, and kill the crying and bruised Akira.

"PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled, punching Yoko's side, making her slide into a tree.

She gave me an insane glare.

"The hell do you think you're doing, Haruno?!" she asked.

"The hell do you think YOUR doing, Yoko? You're the one trying to kill a seven year old!" I retorted.

"Oh, so you want to know why?" she asked.

"Not really, but… Sure, you're gonna tell me anyway…" I said, with my hand still on my whip.

"I was born to 17 years ago, to a young couple, both no older than 24. My parents were so happy when I was born. Then, ten years later, my mother gave birth to that THING! This little innocent thing killed Mom! Put her through so much pain. Imagine the person you love most, their blood everywhere. Being able to hear their blood curdling cries. I was only ten years old… My father, every time he saw me, he saw my mom. He'd cry, and you could literally smell his pain. No body understood me. I needed my father the most then! But all he focused on was Akira. He took my mom and my dad. I haven't seen Dad for seven years. SEVEN YEARS I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM! HE'S SENT LETTERS TELLING ME HE LOVES ME, BUT HE'S A LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! THIS FUCKING LITTLE PIGLET TOOK DAD, AND HE KILLED MOM AND GRANDPA! HE WILL PAY! HE'LL GO THROUGH THE SAME PAIN I'VE GONE THROUGH FOR ALL THESE YEARS! HE WILL DIE IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"

"Backstories… Oh my god. This happens every FUCKIN' TIME! PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled punching the ground.

Yoko ran up the tree behind her, and jumped forward towards me. I quickly stepped to the side, barely missing the blade of the cleaver.

I gave a plum blossom punch to her stomach, sending her into the air.

I jumped up giving her punch after punch.

She then hit me in the head with the hilt of the cleaver.

I fell straight down, with extreme pain in my head.

Everything was slightly spinning, and I could hear her footsteps getting closer and closer.

I knew she was right in front of me.

I immediately had my whip in my hand, and I snapped it around her neck, quickly and easily.

I jumped back away from her, letting the whip be tight around her neck, preventing her from bleeding.

"So, you crazy bitch. Wanna hear about what your death will be like? Quick and painless. But I'll have you know that you are going to hell, since I'm god, I get to decide. And you, will be at the last level of hell just because I like to abuse my power maliciously. Have a nice fall down, bitch!" I said.

"You're not the only one." She struggled to say.

"As. I. Was. Saying. Have a nice fall down. BITCH!" I said snapping her neck.

She fell straight down, dead.

"Hm. Well, that I just had my first kill. I really do wish it was more dramatic and epic." I said, walking over to the asleep Akira.

I put him on my back and began walking back towards the house, and as the sun came up, I saw Daiki, Makoto, and Anko in the forest together, running towards me.

"Umeko!" Anko exclaimed.

Before I collapsing, I was able to say one thing.

"Yup. Just gonna stand here, and keep being a badass."

* * *

In the end, we had some really long mission reports. Makoto wiped Akira's mind clean of all the events that happened, actually he doesn't even remember he had a sister and a Grandpa. Daiki was pretty heartbroken about his "true love" being a psychopath even worse than Makoto. And, well Team Four Star got paid for B-Rank (WHICH IS FUCKIN' AWESOME!)

And I got so much bragging rights.

"Get out of the bathroom, Umeko!" Sakura yelled.

"Did yoooou get a C-Rank?" I asked as I combed my hair.

"No..."

"THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TRAIN!"

Yeah, it all ended up cool for me. Plenty of money to get new clothes, and a new whip... Yeah... But now, I seriously hate cleavers.

* * *

NoIdea: Lol, I got them off of the dictionary. I looked up synonyms for stupid... I don't know.

bacon of doom: Oh he'll be snapping a lot in this story.

**Umeko: Did you have a bet on how soon he would snap?! If you did I would love an 80 20 split between us. Me getting the 80 of course.**

Gremlin Jack: Well... That's the first time someone's told me that... Kinda hurts, ya know? But, I do it so that the readers can get a laugh, and feel more part of the story. And a lot of other people seem to enjoy it. And to make up for the "half" of the story that is AN, I did a really long chapter. Thanks for reviewing! Umeko bless you if she chooses! ^-^

Legendz25: Me too! I still haven't decided, *sweatdrops*

**Umeko: Oh, I've learned lots. I'm just a total bitchin' bad ass now!**

AlbinoBunny1: Yes! Moriarty is a bad ass! And, thanks for the longer review. I love all reviews, but my heart has a soft spot for the one's where people tell me what they like and what their excited for! I like you Albino Bunny! And the Chunin Arc is coming soon. I'm deciding how many missions I wanna write before I do the Chunin Exam Arc.

* * *

Not as many reviews last chapter... Makes me kinda sad, buuuuuuuuuuuut, it's alright! I'm really proud of this super mega longer and uncut chapter (Almost 5,000 words). I was on my way back from Lousiana and I wrote this up on the road. So, I hope it was to your liking!

So, does anyone else want me and Umeko to stop doing the answers and replies like we do above? We had someone tell us that they didn't like it... So, feel free to tell us, kay? Just nicely, please. If it's not too much to ask...

Thanks for reading!


	16. Genin Arc VI

Hey guys, BakaChan here and I don't know if you've noticed but... OVER 100 REVIEWS! Oooooh my sweet jolly ranchers, we did it! So, to celebrate, I will do some more... Original filler! I was between doing a Team 4 mission and a nice small festival with fluff and za funnies... So, I decided on the mission, and I don't know if people will be going insane in this chapter... I kinda like writing about insanity. Blame Higurashi!

Scratch that... BakaChan was actually being all indecisive and totally changed it. But, it still's okay, hopefully it's well received.

* * *

"Alright, brats. You finished your C-Rank with a success. You all acted well while in danger, and saved our client from certain death. So, I'm told I'm supposed to treat you somehow, give you a good job kind of thing. So, I got you three summoning contracts. These are a few contracts that I've collected, and or stole, over the years. So, their finally gonna get used. All you have to do is write your name in blood-"

"Anko-sensei, my dad said stuff with signing your name in blood is some cult mumbo jumbo, along with drinking chicken blood and that kind of stuff-"

"Oh my me. Daiki, did you just say mumbo jumbo?"

"So what if I did?"

"You sounded like a total idiot."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah..."

"REALLY?"

"YEAH YA BLIND LOOKIN' ASS WIPE!"

"WHAT'D THE HELL YOU CALL ME, CIVILIAN!?"

"PECKING ORDER!"

"Shut up, maggots." Anko hissed, using a genjutsu turning the sky behind her red making her look horrifying. She wasn't that scary looking of course, I just chose to be quiet after she said that... Yeah...

She threw each one of us our scroll. They weren't huge like future Naruto's toad scroll, but I was okay.

I smirked when I looked at the scroll.

_'Me being her apprentice, I bet I got the snakes. Giving me bad ass snake moves, AND maybe a connection to Orochimaru. I bet that guy could get me ten times stronger... Ooooh, I may have to add this to my plans... But I don't exactly need him. But, snake summons will still be very, very useful.' _I thought.

I wrote my name in blood and did the hand signs she told us to do before slamming my hand on the ground.

"Summoning Jutsu!" we all chanted.

"SNAKE!"

"Bear?"

"WHY THE FUCK DID I LAY AN EGG?!"

I looked at Daiki who was instantly up in a tree looking down at the snake he had summoned.

"Hm, so that's where the snake contract went..." Anko said.

I glared at Anko.

She glanced at me, looked down at the egg on the ground, back up at me, and then laughed.

"THIS-THIS IS INSANE!? WHY THE FUCK DID THE IDIOT HYUGA OVER THERE GET THE SNAKE SUMMON?! I SUMMON EGGS!? WHY COULDN'T I SUMMON SOMETHING COOL, LIKE TITANS OR UNICORNS, I'D EVEN TAKE RATS RIGHT NOW! THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!?" I yelled.

"ISummonBear?" Makoto asked pointing down at the small bear.

"Yep. Frankly, you're the only one on this team so far that might actually be something cool and famous in the ninja world. The other two as far as I can tell are just immature little maggots..." Anko said ruffling his hair.

"WHAT!?" Daiki and I yelled.

"Oh, yeah, heh heh... Shouldn't have said that in front of you two, huh... Maybe that will make you two get along and train harder!" Anko said.

I just glared at her.

"Just tell us our next mission, snake woman." I growled.

"Not even an Anko, Umeko? Is the little god in training mad? Did I ruffle almighty Umeko's jammies?" Anko teased.

"Oh, what do you want, a medal?" I asked, before giving her a raspberry.

"Nice egg." she said with a smirk.

"Kiss my ass, snake woman." I grumbled.

"Hmph. No respect." Anko mumbled.

"Alright, we are going on a B-Rank. We're going to be bringing this,"

She takes out a jade bracelet.

"This is a very ancient bracelet that is worth more than 100,000 ryo, and we have deliver this to the Tsuri Village Head, which is north of here." Anko said.

"Oh, so wait, we're having a B-Rank?" I asked.

"Yup."

"An honest to me, B-Rank?"

"Not really. This is more of a C-Rank, but their paying B-Rank money." Anko said.

"That means… SHIT LOAD OF MONEY IS COMIN' MY WAY! FUCK YEAH!" I cheered, happily.

Just thinking of all the amazing things I could buy.

"But, now it's time to do a nice long training session to prepare you for our mission." Anko said.

"Bitchin' let's do!" I said, instantly pumped and ready to destroy something.

"I think you're the only one on this team that actually likes training with Anko." Daiki said.

"IEnjoyTrainingAsWell…" Makoto said.

"Shut it, Makoto." Daiki said not even looking at our blond teammate.

"Oh, so you finally heard him?" I asked.

Daiki stayed quiet.

Suddenly, there were senbon in my arm.

"I SAID GET TO RUNNING!" Anko yelled.

We all began to run around the village, being chased by various senbon and fire jutsu. Fun, fun, fun!

"All right, brats, we'll be meeting at the village gates at 7:00 tomorrow morning. Get plenty of rest, and bring lots and lots of supplies. Umeko, be sure to practice your medical ninjutsu, I have a feeling we may need it." Anko said.

"Okay…" I said walking off, going my separate way from my teammates.

* * *

When I got home, it was dinner time, so I sat down at the dinner table.

It had been the first time in a while that I was at the table, sitting with my family.

"Hey Dad, Mom, and it." I said.

"Y-You…" Sakura said with her eye twitching.

"Yes, sister dearest?" I asked.

"YOU… great human being…" Sakura seemed to struggle to get out.

She looked at Mom who smiled at her.

"Well, that's really a cruel insult, Sakura. I'm not human, so why would you call me that, dearie?" I asked.

"I'm very sorry." She said. But I could tell she didn't mean it in the slightest. It looked like it literally hurt her to say.

"Hmph." I said taking a bite of leek soup.

"So, Umeko, I heard that your team is going on a B-Rank together! Are you excited?" Mom asked.

"Sure, I guess. It's just a mission where I'll hopefully hand someone Chunin level or higher's ass. That would make me very happy. Yeah! That'd show that damn Hyuga! And it would show Anko, giving that damn Hyuga the snakes. That-THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF!"

"Umeko, sweet pea, are you okay?" Dad asked.

I looked at the kind hard working man.

"Peachy." I said.

"Okay, Umeko. But remember you can talk to me, okay?" Dad said.

"Yeah."

* * *

You know, if you spend enough time with someone, you get sick and tired of them. For me it only took about six hours of Daiki's nonstop questions to Anko, along with Makoto's sculpting with a small piece of Play Dough. Apparently it keeps him from freaking out.

Things didn't get much better as the trip went on. Makoto was falling behind, because honestly he kind of sucked at the whole physical activity and endurance thing.

As he kept falling behind, I could almost tell that Anko was ready to make him run faster.

"Here, let me handle this, it's my pleasure…" I said.

I slowed down to where I was running right next to him.

"_YOU WANNA BE AN AIR FORCE RANGER! YOU WANNA LIVE A LIFE OF DANGER! YOU DON'T WANNA GET RAPED BY STRANGERS!"_ I sang loudly as I mockingly kept up with his level of speed.

"PleaseGetAwayFromMe." He said.

"STOP SINGING!" Anko and Daiki yelled.

I got behind him and began pushing him to go faster.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he yelled, instantly stopping.

He had jumped to the ground, and was on his elbows and knees holding his head.

I had no idea what I had just done.

We all jumped down.

"What the hell's your problem, psychopath?" I asked.

"Shut up, Umeko." Anko and Daiki both said in sync.

They all crouched by him, careful not to touch him, saying nice things, trying to make him calm down. And I just watched. I wasn't feeling anything, not sad, or guilt, or worry. I was completely neutral, if anything I was pissed that we weren't still running just because Makoto was having a panic attack.

* * *

**Makoto's POV**

Again.

Being touched.

Why?

Why?

This always happens…

People I begin to care for, like the family I never had.

**Family**.

What is a family?

What's in a family?

Why?

Why was I the oddball?

The one that **stuck out**.

The** freak**.

The** psychopath**.

The one who should have never been.

Why?

Why did I have to be born as me?

The sniveling coward.

The silent psychopath.

**The freak of the Yamanaka clan**.

The one that was never loved.

**Love.**

Does it even exist?

If it does, where?

Is it excited?

Is it calm?

Is it hateful?

**Hate.**

Does love hate me?

Does bravery hate me?

Does the world hate me?

Why am I so calm, when I am stuck all the time in **hell.**

The hell in my mind, the mind of the silent psychopath.

Calm.

Calm down.

What?

"**Calm down, you psychopath!"**

My quick nervous breathes began to slow down.

My heart beat came back to normal.

I then, was pulled into a dream like state.

I immediately recognized it as the past, and prepared for the hell that I knew would come.

* * *

**Flashback**

"_His parents left the village."_

"_Why would they join __**him?**__" _

"_**Yomi** was always a freak, then she married that **Jigoku** and everything went down hill from there."_

**"_Just like with dogs. When there's something wrong with the bitch, there's something wrong with the pup."_**

**"_Stay away from that child, he's a psychopath."_**

**"_Psycho."_**

**"_Freak."_**

**"_Weirdo."_**

**"_Your just mad!"_**

**"_Crazy."_**

**"_Psychopath."_**

"I'm not a psychopath! Why does everyone think that?!" a young blond boy cried on the wet streets of Konoha.

This boy had no home.

While the boy knew there was another like him. Hated, and alone. This other boy had the Hokage's favor. And this boy knew that. He knew no body cared for him. No body cared what happened to him. He could die, and it would make so many people's days. This kid wasn't an orphan. His parents said they'd come back for him. But day after day, he endured people being cruel to him. Village children chasing him, and if he didn't run fast enough, he'd get hit. Again, and again. Until he was black, blue, and red on the ground. Shaking and no one ever saved him.

He could cry all he wanted, but no one would save him. He was the traitor's child. No one cared. People from the Yamanaka clan had tried to help a few times, but he was soon seen a lost case. Not even the kind Yamanaka head, could convince the boy to come with him.

One cold night, he was hiding in an alley when he saw a cat. A grey cat with bright green eyes and a scar on it's belly. The boy reached a hand, begging for the cat to not reject him like the others. He begged for it to know his pain.

"P-Please, let m-me." The boy whispered.

The cat stared dully at him, warily watching his hand come closer and closer. Right when the boy touched the cat, it snapped. The cat sprang at him, scratching and biting. The boy let out a big scream of pain. The village boys heard him and came running. They laughed at the scene of the cat, scratching the crying boy.

One of the boy's bravely grabbed the cat's scruff and roughly threw it at a wall.

He looked at the bawling boy and gave a smirk before punching him.

While cruel boys felt no pain at all from hitting him, and they even lost count of how many times he's been hit. But the homeless boy felt every punch, every kick, and every brutal word.

He soon stopped crying. He didn't even say a word, let out a sound. He was silent as a mouse, laying in an alley as the boys beat him.

The leader of the group found a rock on the ground and picked it up. He was about to hit him with it when…

"Boys, isn't it late? You five should go home, or should I have a ninja escort you home?" a man's voice said.

The homeless boy looked up emotionlessly. He couldn't see straight, and he was coming in and out of consciousness.

* * *

**Umeko's POV**

"I did the best I could with the medical ninjutsu that I could! He didn't have any physical scaring. I'm not at the point to where I can help people with panic attacks, damn it!" I argued.

"Well if you hadn't touched him, this wouldn't have happened!" Daiki retorted.

"Shut up!" I said.

"Loud." Makoto said sitting up.

Anko, Daiki, and I just looked at Makoto.

"I'm glad to see you awake," Anko said with a grin.

I could have sworn at that moment, I saw a tear in Makoto's eye. He quickly wiped it off and smirked.

"ICanSayThatIAmTooAtTheMomentHappyToBeAwake. ShallWeContinueTheMission?" Makoto asked.

"Is okay to run?" Anko asked.

"Yeah, he's fine." I said getting up.

Makoto began to get up when Daiki offered his hand.

"Daiki! Are you fuckin' crazy!?" I exclaimed.

"Ah crap!" Daiki said.

He was surprised when Makoto grabbed his hand and let him pull him up.

"Thank. You. Daiki." Makoto said, at a normal tone of voice and very slowly seeming to try to make sure we all heard him.

He walked over to me and offered his hand.

"I. Apologize. For. Frightening. You. Thank. You. VeryMuch." He said, going back to his usual voice as he got further into the sentence.

I sighed.

"Yeah, okay…" I said shaking his hand.

"Alright, now that's done and over with, let's head to Tsuri Village!" Anko said happily.

* * *

_I can let myself trust them. I know it. Because I believe they won't leave me behind. They won't truly bully me. Maybe, they'll be like a family to me. Just you, Shikaku, and Inoichi… You all are the one's that I'll truly care for. Because when you know what it's like to have no one and nothing , you'll never take what and who you have for granted. Maybe, just maybe, this is love._

* * *

Whoa. That was fun. I worked all week on this. This went from high insanity and action, to mental conflict and sadness… Yup, I hope you liked version three of this chapter!

Cause, I really liked this one.

* * *

Okay, I'm actually not gonna be able to do the answers and stuff this chapter because of pure, unadulterated lividness (Internet being a bitch).

So thank you all for reviewing.

And Counting Sinful Stars, thank you especially for reviewing every single chapter! It really means a lot! And, if you wouldn't mind telling me in a review or in a PM about what you meant with your last review, it'd be appreciated. Thank you again!

**Umeko: So... Anyone going to Izumicon?**


	17. Chunin Exam Arc I

Last filler of this arc! Enjoy!

* * *

"Chunin Exams will be starting in two weeks. I'll be one of the proctors and very, very busy. And I won't be able to train with you. I could get you a trainer, but if you can't even train on your own, your not Chunin level. So, work on your teamwork, jutsu, summoning, and individual strengths. Here's your papers, have fun~" Anko said before poofing away leaving Team 4 dumbstruck.

"Wait… Chunin exams? Become Chunin… Make money… HELL YEAH!" I yelled happily, punching the air out of sheer excitement.

"You got that right, Ume. We're gonna beat this exam so easily. Then be big bad Chunin!" Daiki said.

"Fun." Makoto deadpanned.

"You don't seem very, well enthusiastic." Daiki said.

"I'mEcstatic. _Yay._" He said once again in a deadpan.

"Well, we should meet like tomorrow and train together!" Daiki said excitedly.

"Whatever…" Makoto said.

"Y'all bitches can make out together if you want. But I'm doing some hardcore, unadulterated training on my own. It will be so gruesome, anyone who see's me train will be traumatized because it will be so brutal!" I said walking away.

When I got home, I sat down on my bed and stared at Doug.

"Hm…" I said.

I heard loudness from downstairs. Hearing a 'Believe it' and a 'Loser' and a screech 'NARUTO!' Makes it kind of obvious who is downstairs.

'_So, it's almost Chunin Exams… I don't want Sakura to get hurt. But I kind of don't like her… But, how will maybe training with her affect my plan? I'll still get what I'm after, and secure my rich fate. Hm…' _I thought.

'_I shouldn't help her. What has she done for me? Abandoned me? Then abandoned the friend she abandoned me for. She doesn't deserve the right to even breathe the same air.' _I thought.

"Damn it…" I muttered, knowing I was going to do the paragon thing.

"Naruto, Sasuke. Get out." I said.

All of Team 7 looked at me with noodles hanging from their mouths.

"SHUT UP, UMEKO! DON'T TELL SASUKE TO GET OUT!" Sakura yelled.

"Oh shut it with the defensive fan girl bull shit. You all should be training and getting stronger. Chunin exams is coming up and you'll be entered." I said.

"Chunin exams? You mean a test to level up to like super ninja? Like Iruka-sensei?!" Naruto said excitedly.

"Precisely. Now get out. Sakura here has some work to do." I said looking down at Sakura before giving a sadistic smirk.

Sasuke was already gone by the time I finished that sentence, and Naruto also rushed out to get ready.

"What the hell was that?!" Sakura said furiously.

"That was me helping you. So far, all you've done is a whole lot of nothing for your team. Your not strong physically, but your mentally strong. I'm gonna teach you some moves that might help you be useful in the future. You can take my offer that will most likely impress Sasuke, because honestly he'd be the fuckin' type to like a girl for her strength rather than her personality or looks. So, take it or leave it." I said.

Sakura gave me a suspicious glare.

"Fine." She said.

"Can you include me too, Ume?" a quiet voice said from outside the open window.

I looked over from our kitchen table and saw none other than Hinata standing there.

"How long have you been there?" I asked.

"Since you came down here…" she said blushing and looking down.

"The award for the best at stalking and not getting noticed is the Hyuga princess herself." I said sarcastically.

"So you two, meet me at Training Ground 4 in about 3 minutes exactly. If your late, I'll go even harder on the both of you." I said.

* * *

"A wise man once said that in order to become a great fighter, you must be swift as a corsing river, have all the force of a great typhoon, with all strength of a raging fire, and mysterious as the dark side of the moon. I can teach you to be swift, have force, and a lot of strength. So, I'll be teaching you a move that incorporates all these, and you get to come up with a name. Because Plum Blossom Punch is mine." I said.

"Oh my god. Your teaching us that one?!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Nah, I just said I was teaching you that, why the hell would I, the great Umeko fuckin' Haruno, god of the world herself, lie?" I asked.

"You lie all the time." Sakura deadpanned.

"SHUT UP AND LET ME TEACH YOU HOW TO DO THIS SHIT. Wait… Hinata, have you done the tree exercise?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Good, then this'll be fun." I said.

The two weeks went by fast.

Hinata soon had to stop training with us because her father wanted her to focus on her Byakugan training and Gentle Fist training. And sadly, it was before she mastered it.

On the other hand, Sakura got it within a week and a half. She hadn't unveiled her new found strength to her team yet, because she wanted to be a big surprise for her Sasuke.

And oddly, I enjoyed spending time with her. Up until then we hadn't really connected after we went separate ways. While we still taunt and put down each other. I could tell that we were closer.

"No! I refuse to wear anything but my dress and shorts! And I WILL NOT CUT MY HAIR!" she said.

"Okay, seriously. Mesh armor doesn't even have to go on top of your clothes. You can just wear it under. And your red dress and green shorts is not cute. You look like a backwards Christmas tree with a pink fucking star like Patrick. If anything, this will make you look better." I said.

"Y-You really think so? M-Maybe it is about time to change my look. I've been wearing this for like months…" Sakura said looking down at her outfit.

"I'll help you find something that I can actually claim you in." I said.

Sakura gave me a glare while muttering.

"EShapasha… claim you in… shefashalkfda…"

"Bitchin'! Totally found it." I exclaimed holding up an outfit. It was a dark red 3/4th sleeve t-shirt that had black at the bottom of the sleeves, a white short fighting skirt majig (yeah I don't know the terminology, get over it), and black shorts under it. I also quickly grabbed some knee and ankle protectors and literally shoved it all at her.

"Now, put these on, your welcome." I said.

She walked into the dressing room and came out surprised.

"Wow, you picked out something that doesn't make me look stupid!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah… Go figure…" I said dryly.

My eyes now fell on some gloves that went perfectly with her current outfit.

"Now put these on, and bam, I'm a fuckin' genius!" I said admiring my work.

"Yeah, I do look pretty cool. Now let's pay for this shall we…" Sakura said.

"We? Bitch, please… I ain't payin' for shit." I said.

"Umeko…" Sakura said warningly.

"You see, the way my bank account is set up I got a checking and a savings. But all the money is in my savings, so I gotta switch it to my checking but it's gonna take three business days, I don't think it's gonna go through." I said before body flickering away.

At the house, about right when I appeared I heard from somewhere in the distance, "UMEKO YOU BITCH!"

"Huh. Well that just happened…" I said.

* * *

bacon of doom: We will see in the Chunin Exams...

**Umeko: YOU GOT THE REFERENCE! Your awesome. Not as awesome as me. But awesome.**

Counting Sinful Stars: It will be a unicorns and sunshine! JKJK, we will see in Chunin Exams! XD

Suntan140: She summoned a... not telling yet XD

**Umeko: I ain't coming together with them bitches. Man, this ain't no Beatles song.**

The Awesome Me: I love your review! XD Who knows, I may do it!

**Umeko: Your not as awesome as me, Awesome Me. You wanna do an awesome off? I'll go first. _aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... ToT_**

**Kathrine Yang:** **I tainted her! Bwuhahahahahaha!**

NoIdea135: Oh, I doubt it's gonna hatch a Yoshi like Piccolo. OH TEAMFOURSTAR REFERENCE!

**Umeko: I sure as hell hope it's something bad ass like that! **

Tough Chick: Thanks! It means a lot!

_Makoto: IPaidThemBack, Tremendously... GenjutsuIsAGreatThing... TheyStartScreaming, AndNoOneKnow'sWhat'sWrongWithThem. Beautiful, AndItBringsTearsToMyEyes..._

Himeno Kazehito: Yeah! Go Umeko's Dad!

**Umeko: Hmph. He's cool I guess *looking away and blushing***

* * *

Sorry I didn't do the answers last chapter, but I won't skip it again, well anytime soon. So, remember to review because Chunin Exams are starting next chapter along with a long awaited rival (Long awaited by me at least)...

And Spoiler Alert, she's like Umeko in a way... Have fun guessing! ^-^

Almost forgot! Check the BakaAndTensaiArt DeviantArt Page (link in Profile) for new pictures of Sakura and Umeko. I also made a super, super crappy trailer for this fanfiction (link also on profile) so, check it out if you want. But it kinda sucks... Just Saiyan...


	18. Chunin Exam Arc II

"So you guys do a lot of training?" I asked awkwardly as we walked towards the Academy where we'd be taking the first portion of Chunin Exams.

"Yeah, we did some training together and separate. Not that you would know since we've hardly even seen you in the past two weeks." Daiki grumbled.

"I was helping my sister get ready for Chunin Exams. Seriously, Mom would kill me if she knew that Sakura got herself hurt because she wasn't training. Don't ask how that makes sense, because it doesn't. My mom's just crazy." I said.

"Well, I guess you had to get it from somewhere…" Daiki retorted.

"Shut it, Blindclops!" I said with a glare.

"What?" Makoto and Daiki both said.

"I'm in the middle of thinking of an insulting nickname for you. So that will just have to do for now." I said.'

"Wait. Before we go in, I have some spoilers." I said.

"What do you mean? Like you know what to expect?" Daiki asked.

"Yeah. First test, all I have to tell you is if you raise your hand I'll castrate you. The second test is a battle royale. So, I say play the weak team. Don't act like your strong. Just be chill and act like as if we're weak. That will make people either target us or cast us aside, putting us in an advantage." I said.

"Why would people targeting us help us?" Daiki asked.

"WeAreStrongerThanYourAverageGenin, andAtSometimesItHelpsHavingTheElementOfSurprise." Makoto said.

"Hm. Fine." Daiki said.

We walked through, totally ignoring the genjutsu, as if it wasn't even there, going on to the large room full of Genin. We all sat next to wall and I scanned the room looking for familiar faces and possible threats.

My eyes fell on Gaara of the Sand, the poor bastard that had the raccoon, dog, bear, whatever One Tailed Beast. But weirdly, he didn't look angry or anything, he just looked neutral. I saw a bit of darkness in his eyes, but no where near the level of in the show.

_'__The hell is going on here?' _ I thought.

He was standing with his brother, Kan-er-Kankira? I don't remember the puppeteer's name. I expected to see the blond Temari, Gaara's older sister. But oddly I didn't see her. I saw a girl with red hair pulled back into a pony tail with black eyeliner around her eyes. I looked down at her forehead protector and saw The Sand Village symbol.

She looked up and noticed me looking at her. She gave a smirk. I saw her tell Gaara something, then she walked towards me.

"You and I have to talk, Haruno." She said.

"How the fuck do you know my name?" I growled.

"Oh, I'll tell you that if we can talk in private." She said looking at Makoto and Daiki. They stood there as if just daring her to make them move.

"Go on, I guess I have to talk to this bitch." I said, shooing my male teammates off. They gave her a suspicious glare then walked off.

"I know where you came from." She said.

"Bitch, anyone with eyes and the ability to look at my forehead protector can tell where I'm from." I said.

"Not here, not in this life. You come from the real world. Where everything that takes place here is in a manga following Naruto Uzumaki and Team 7. I know everything. I know about Akatsuki, Tobi, Madara, Kaguya. I know everything Naruto-wise. And I need to know what changes you've made to canon so that I can plan and prevent the war accordingly." She said.

"Wait, I'm not the only one?" I asked.

"Of course not, your nothing special. There a few of us, but none of us has managed to infiltrate Konoha, while some have tried, they failed. One did make it in, and found out about you when he was checking the families of Konoha 11. It was simple since you are one of the main character's sibling. So, I know exactly who you are and what you can do. While, I have no idea what you've changed here in Konoha, so I must find out from you. So begin." She said.

"Bitch, first things first, don't tell me what to do. Because I swear to the great god ME I can and will kick your ass." I said.

"Oh, Umeko, that's cute. You do realize who I am. Or did I forget to introduce myself… My name is Mari of the Sand. I'm the younger of twins. The twin of a very protective Gaara, who can and will kill anyone that gets in my way! Me. I'm Pretty, kind, and a total bad ass. I'm very much one to fear, I suppose. So, tell me what I asked, Umeko." She said with a cheerful grin.

_'__No… This has to be a bluff. No one could have the luck to be reborn as a fucking Jinchuuriki's sister. If anyone it would have been me. No… This isn't happening! It's not right, not natural! I'm god! I'm the most powerful. What is this feeling? Is it fear? No, impossible. This pure, unadulterated rage.'_ I thought.

"Okay listen up, Mary, you could be the last Uchiha, frankly, you could be the Kazekage for all I care, I won't listen to anyone that's lower than me. Because, in case you haven't noticed I am amazing. We could fight, but it would be useless, not that it wouldn't fun, because I wouldn't tell you shit. I'd just kick your ass, and if Mr. Racoon Panda wanted to get in the action, I'd kick his ass too. Because Naruto's not the only one who can summon." I growled.

"There's no need to be so hostile. I wasn't trying to threaten you, please forgive me!" she said.

"Stop it with the Mary Sue cutesy bitchy bull shit." I grumbled.

"Do remember that I warned you, and you've just signed your own death ticket." She growled.

"I also drew a dick you can suck while I was at it." I retorted, as I walked towards my team who was talking with Kiba and Shino

"Things looked like they were getting hostile over there." Daiki said.

"TheyWereHavingBetsOnWhetherWe'dSeeACatFightOrNot." Makoto said.

"Dude why'd you sell us out!?" Kiba exclaimed.

"MyApologies." Makoto said emotionlessly.

I suddenly heard some yelling and saw Kabuto with his cards.

My glare instantly intensified.

_'__Orochimaru's little annoying puppet. I could kill him right now, it'd save me the trouble. But, he plays an important part in the war, and a nice fun war wouldn't be anything without some dead people coming back to fight. Oh, pity that.'_ I thought.

I soon zoned out, and when I blinked my eyes we were 30 minutes into the test.

My eyes widened.

'_WHEN THE HELL DID THIS START?!'_ my mind yelled.

"_Having difficulties?"_ Makoto's voice asked in my head.

"_Body control me or something, psychopath. You know that I haven't done none of this."_ I said.

_"__Sometimes I wonder who you paid to do your homework in the Academy, because you obviously didn't do anything considering the amount of intelligence, or lack there of-"_

_"__Don't even finish that sentence psychopath." I said._

Suddenly his body that was a few rows in front of me slumped and I felt him taking over.

He quickly wrote down answer after answer until he left 10 blank.

_"__Your all good, Umeko. You can thank me later." _

"_Yeah, like that'll happen."_ I replied in my head. I heard a chuckle before feeling his spirit leave me.

* * *

"Alright, Umeko, how'd you know?" Daiki asked.

"Know what?"

"About the test, and not raising your hand!" Daiki exclaimed.

"Hey, you have your sources, I have mine." I said.

_'__Manga counts as a source, right? Of course it does! If it doesn't, it officially does because I'm me and I can do what ever the fuck I want.'_

"Did you know that Anko-sensei was gonna be our proctor?" Daiki asked.

"No." I lied.

Us three were walking towards our sign-in place where I saw Anko standing.

"Anko-sensei!" Makoto and Daiki exclaimed.

"You three have the advantage, since you've trained here, and you know it left and right. I can't stay here long, but I can be here long enough to wish you luck, and try not die. I'm looking at you, Umeko." Anko said.

"Thanks for the trust." I grumbled.

Anko chuckled and ruffled my hair.

"Umeko's in charge, got it?" Anko said.

"What?" we all exclaimed.

"I think it's her time to shine, so, you guys have fun and think strategically~" she said before disappearing.

"Well maggots, seems the pecking order is a definite right now!" I said confidently as we grabbed our Earth scroll.

"Let's go bust some heads!" Daiki said.

"Bitchin'!" I exclaimed.

We busted in running a bit before stopping for planning.

"I have a plan. We should put a genjutsu on a normal scroll making it look like it's the real scroll. Then have me seemingly alone holding it, resulting in me being attacked and you two ambushing them." I said.

"That's a terrible idea." Daiki deadpanned.

"Shut up. It's brilliant. You can use your Byakugan to watch from a distance and one they try to fight me, I either instantly hand their ass's to them, or Makoto can put them in his genjutsu." I said.

"ElementOfSurpriseIsKeyInABattleRoyaleSituation. IAgreeWithThisPlan. HavingUmekoDoItIsImportantSinceWomenTendToBeBiggerTargetsThanMen, I'mSorryToSay." Makoto said.

"ashlkfdskjflk… bigger than a man… ndklfjalfdj" I grumbled.

"Fine, so split up." I said.

Both of them jumped away in opposite directions and I ran forward, making sure to run slowly to make myself look weak. I held my storage scroll hoping Makoto's genjutsu was on it.

I was alone for about a good hour until I heard Makoto's voice in my head.

"_Your being followed by a lone Ame nin. He's at your current 3 o'clock with a possibly poisoned katana, he's coming in." _Makoto said.

I instantly stopped, deciding to keep up my scared girl act.

"H-Hello? Is there anyone there?" I called.

There was a boy instantly in front of me, no taller than Sasuke.

"Hello there, girly. Would you mind handing over that pretty little Earth scroll of yours? I'd hate to have to hurt you." He said.

"M-My teammates will get mad at me!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, well that's too bad. Should have just taken my offer!" he said, instantly having the katana at my throat.

"Soaring Bird!" Makoto's voice said. I could feel his genjutsu in the air.

The Ame boy was now staggering looking confused. Makoto was instantly there, he hit most of his major chakra points. The guy looked so weak, now. Which meant…

"Plum Blossom Punch!" I yelled giving him a full powered chakra enfused punch to the stomach sending him into a tree.

"Umeko! Why did you just insert yourself into our awesome duo gen/taijutsu move?!" Daiki said.

"Because that alone didn't knock the bastard out. I had to make sure he was all tuckered out before we could get the scroll." I said.

I checked his pocket and found… nothing.

"Damn it! This guy didn't have it on him!" I exclaimed.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain. I looked down to see the Ame guy that was very much awake, and his kunai was going right into my leg.

"Good luck finishing the exam with a poisoned leg, bitch!" he said.

Makoto instantly put him in one hell of a jutsu.

I wouldn't know because I was too busy screaming bloody murder.

"WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!" Daiki panicked looking to Makoto whose face just looked livid.

"I have no clue." He said.

"UMEKO, HEAL YOURSELF OR SOMETHING!" Daiki demanded.

"It doesn't work like that, idiot!" I yelled.

I quickly went into my bag and got my disinfectant and gauze.

I disinfected the wound which caused pain galore (yay…) and wrapped it.

"Alright, the bad news is, I'm not gonna be able to be much help cause I'm outta commission. But, the good news is that I have a way for us to get the scroll we need." I said.

I heard some screams and even a "Sasuke!" fairly near us.

"Oh, there's our ticket now. Follow those screams." I said.

Makoto picked me up and put me on his back.

"I thought you didn't touch people in fear of like panic attacks." I said.

"Don'tRemindMe." He said.

Soon, I saw a sobbing pink haired girl and two boys that were passed out.

"Sakura, do you need some help?" I asked.

She looked up.

"U-Umeko!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, the great almighty god, Umeko Haruno is here!"

"Ahem." Daiki said.

"And guests." I finished dryly.

* * *

Oh my god! I'm so excited! Not about this chapter it was rushed and I wasn't too excited about this one. But the next one! Ooooh do I have plans for it! Fun! Fun! Fun!

* * *

Bloodshot111: I didn't really have inspiration, but I just wanted to get this part over with XD go figure...

**Umeko: I'm amazing, I know. You don't have to tell me...**

SatsumiUzumaki: Karin... I forgot Karin was even at Chunin Exams... Yeah, but it wasn't them. You know me, can't resist making OC's (It's fun!). And I tried to make Mari Mary-Sueish. That's why I named her Mari. Buuut, I suck at making Mary-Sues on purpose. If you saw me a year ago on my old account *shudderis* I had this Mary-Sue named Moriko Daichi. If you've read that fic, I apologize greatly XD

**Umeko: No, you da bomb. Just kidding, I'm the bomb. No wait, I'm the radioactive bomb. Your the grenade. Yes! BWUHAHAHAHAHA!**

_Legendz:_Well, Mari of the Sand. You have no idea how much I wanted to make her a Jinchuuriki AND name her Aiko (means love child, you know me, wanting to reference Gaara) But with Mari I plan on doing things with her I don't really see any fics doing. So... Yeah...

**Counting Sinful Stars: Hmph. I just helped the weakling 'cause Mom would kill me if she found out Sakura died or almost died in the Forest of Death while I was there too. I was only doing it to save my own ass... Yeah... That's it...**

**Himeno Kazehito: Mulan, an amazing movie indeed. **

**bacon of doom: _Shhhhhhh..._ Don't call me nice. That will hurt my image. Just say paragon. No body knows what that means unless they play Infamous... Or Google words they don't know while watching Dragon Ball Z Abridged.**

**Tough chick: Of course, I'm god of mischief as well... Wait, does that mean I'm the god of pranks? I NOW BESTOW THE GOD OF PRANKS TITLE ON NARUTO UZUMAKI! Yeah... He can have fun with that...**

* * *

If Hinata was to use the Plum Blossom Punch/Cherry Blossom Clash, what do you think it would be called?


	19. Chunin Exams III

Guess whaaaat? I got my first flame! Yay... Apparently I am "boring, unoriginal, use rip-off attacks, and I use too much OOC-ness" So, message back is...

Mr. or Mrs. NotAGoodStory, please give me a detailed review on what is boring and what I can do better. I do enjoy "constructive criticism" and you gave me a good laugh. Kay? And please, do log in before you review. I would love to hear what you have to say so I can ask you questions on how I can get better. Please and thank you!

* * *

"Heal, ya damn bastard!" I exclaimed as I was inserting some healing chakra into Sasuke. I looked at Naruto, but I wasn't even gonna try healing him because of his little furry fuck wouldn't let me.

"Don't call him a bastard..." Sakura muttered, as she set up traps.

"Yeah, Umeko, I don't think calling him a bastard is gonna help him heal faster." Daiki said.

"Shut it Blindclops!" I exclaimed.

"Still can't think of anything better?" Daiki asked.

"Utter one more word and no medic alive will be able to glue back what I cut off..." I warned the Hyuga.

He just laughed.

"IWouldn'tBeLaughing, SheIsCompletelySerious." Makoto deadpanned.

Daiki's face went from an amused to a 'WTF' face.

"Alright, you two need to go and fetch water. Now." I said.

"That's at the other side of the Forest!" Daiki whined.

"Oh pity that, now go." I said.

"I will be staying." Makoto said slowly.

_'No... I need them to go. I highly doubt that Orochimaru's little pawns will attack if we have two semi-tall boys that are from very famous clans. Nobody's that stupid. Well maybe Naruto... But... No no no! Stop zoning out!' _I thought.

"No, your going." I said.

"YourInjured." Makoto said pointing down at my leg.

"Bitch, please. You think I! THE GREAT UMEKO, THAT IS NINJA BY DAY! GOD BY NIGHT! AND BAD ASS 25 HOURS A DAY, CAN BE HURT BY A KUNAI! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!" I said loudly, getting up in defiance.

_'OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! THIS HURTS LIKE FUCKIN' HELL! IT'S LIKE TWO DRILLS ARE GOING THROUGH MY SHIN, **AND THEIR MEETING IN THE MIDDLE!'**_

"See? No pain at all, now go the fuck away!" I said walking in a circle.

Daiki looked at my face, then at my bandaged leg. He looked at Makoto who was staring at me with a, "That's some bullshit," face.

"Let'sGoFetchWater." Makoto said walking into the forest.

"Okay. Umeko, my eyes will be watching over here to make sure nothing happens." Daiki said as he followed Makoto.

I waved. As soon as they were out of sight I rolled my eyes. I began limping over towards Sakura.

"Umeko stop!" Sakura exclaimed.

I instantly stopped in my tracks.

"There's a trap there." Sakura said.

I looked down and saw a thin rope. If I touched that I would get smashed by a log. So, would I technically be logged. Ooooh, what I would have given to be reborn into Naruto Abridged, or Ninjabridged. Wow, I haven't thought about those in a long time... Hm... Anyway!

I stepped over it and limped over to my twin.

"So, what happened to your teammates?" I asked.

"I was useless... That's what happened. This guy, he attacked us. He didn't want our scroll. He wanted to hurt Sasuke. I was so scared, I forgot everything you taught me. I couldn't do a thing. I didn't throw a punch, I didn't even attempt to get us out of there. It was all Sasuke and Naruto. If I had just fought. Been brave like you tried make me all those years ago, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe Sasuke would be awake without this weird bruise on his neck. Maybe Naruto would be his normal annoying self. Why am I this way? Why am I so weak and useless?" Sakura said, now looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"Oh, that's an easy one. Your weak because that's just how you are. You get afraid and forget everything you learn. Your blinded by your so called love for Sasuke that you can't even protect him. You need to train and train, learn to not fear, learn to kill your feelings. Because unlike me you have those troublesome things. So maybe you should train, learn something useful, get stronger than Sasuke. Maybe kick his ass around a little bit, maybe he'd see you more than just another girl that he can ignore, or in this case the useless girl that almost got him and Naruto killed." I said.

She was now bawling.

"Ugh. Sakura, I suck at these inspirational speeches, so you need to stop expecting some nice Naruto's Believe It Hokage speech, because I'm not charismatic or anything. So, just focus on what I said you need to do and hopefully it will make you want to train or something." I said.

She was silent.

* * *

**Makoto POV**

"So was she just wanting to have some quality time with her sister or something? Cause that doesn't really sound like the bitchy Umeko I know." Daiki asked.

"NotExactly." I said.

We were hiding in a nearby tree watching the two sisters as they did their poor excuse for guarding the two injured members of Team 7.

"Maybe she thinks their gonna be attacked and wants us to be away so we won't get hurt, because she secretly cares about us! Little sociopath Ume-Ume is beginning to have feelings instead of the cold anger that is latched within her soul!" Daiki said dramatically.

"NotInTheSlightest." I deadpanned.

"You sassy bastard." Daiki teased.

"Affirmative." I deadpanned once again, forcing myself not to chuckle at the Hyuga's antics. Frankly, I think our pink haired teammate is a bad influence on us.

Suddenly, Daiki fell out of the tree with two senbon around where his thoracic vertebrae, out cold.

I turned around, readying my chakra for a strong genjutsu when a guy with a Sound forehead protector was right there with a kunai at my throat, about to put a hand over my mouth.

My fist flew out and punched him.

I jumped out of the tree and got in a taijutsu position.

_'Hopefully my lack of taijutsu knowledge will at least distract them from the genjutsu I have prepared for them. I need to get a hold of Umeko!'_ I thought.

I bit my thumb and did a few handsign. A bear cub appeared.

"Go to her." I said before I was barraged with a series of punches and kicks, that all hit.

* * *

**Umeko's POV**

"You should go to sleep, Sakura." I said.

"Why? I shouldn't rely on you for everything, it's like being a kid all over a thing." she said.

"Shut up, and sleep." I growled.

Suddenly, a bear ran out of the woods.

It straight to me.

"Makoto..." I said.

_'They had to have been attacked. And actually... Knowing them they were right in a nearby tree watching us the entire ti- They were attacked by the Sound Stooges... It's obvious. They should have been back a while ago. Ah... Good thinking, psychopath._'

"Makoto was attacked wasn't he." I said.

The cub nodded.

I sighed. "Alright, go guard them, or see if you can get Mama Bear or something to guard them. Just don't bring them here, okay?" I asked.

The cub nodded.

"And on Makoto is a scroll, guard it with your life, or tell Mama Bear to do that, okay?" I whispered.

The cub nodded again before running into the woods.

"I spoke too soon. Sakura wake up. We're being attacked." I said.

Her eyes widened and she shook like Chihuahua.

"Wha-what?!" she stuttered.

"Yeah, three little Sound cowards are waiting in the trees. Come on out! I've been dying for a good fight. Ahem. OLLY OLLY OXEN BITCHES!" I called mockingly.

"Oh lookie here, two little girls playing ninja? Isn't that cute?" Dosu said.

"Oh look, a woman who doesn't know any better. How cute." I retorted.

"Hey watch your mouth, you little bitch. We're not here to fight either one of you. We're here for Sasuke. So wake him up." Zoku said.

"Oh, you want him? HA! I'd give you a much better fight than him any da-"

"WHO ARE YOU! HOW DO YOU KNOW SASUKE?! IS IT BECAUSE OF OROCHIMARU! I KNOW HE'S BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS! WHATS THE MARK ON SASUKE'S NECK?" Sakura yelled.

"Way to advertise your business stupid." I said.

I sighed, _'Damn, this fight is a little hazy. But I know Sakura gets her ass beat. So, let's steal a little spot light shall we? But, I honestly didn't think I'd have to use this. Hm. Oh well...' _I thought.

I took out a storage scroll that was full of healing chakra. It quickly healed my leg, but it didn't have much in there so this was a small fix.

I got up with a slightly healed leg.

I stepped infront of the members of Team 7.

"Damn... I'm gonna need to do something evil really soon before I start to be counted as a protagonist." I said.

"COME AT ME BRO!" I yelled.

Zaku began to run at me when Dosu yelled at him to stop.

He noticed the freshly turned stones and exposed soil. I smirked.

"Your confident for someone with no talent. Such an obvious booby trap." Dosu said.

They jumped up and sprang the real trap and this was all Sakura's doing. I guess she does hang out with Naruto enough to know some trap/pranks.

"No! The trap was above us all along!" Zaku exclaimed.

They blasted the log easily.

All three of them came speeding towards me.

I gave a laugh.

I instantly had my whip in my hand. I whipped it around Zaku's ankle pulling him towards me, giving him a chakra infused punch to the stomach before giving him a strong kick into a tree.

Suddenly, Lee was there and did kicked Dosu who flew into Kin which resulted in them both flat on the ground.

"Nice to see ya, Jumpsuit." I said.

"Name's Rock Lee." he said.

"Umeko, Sakura's sister. I'm guessing your protecting her cause you like her or something. Kay, cool." I said hoping to skip some dialogue.

"Lee! Where did you come from!?" Sakura exclaimed.

"I came because you needed me and I'll always be there when you need me!" Lee said.

"Yeah, that's cute and everything, really it is. But I'd much rather focus on the pissed off future sore losers over there!" I said.

"I'll get the men! You can get the girl." Lee said.

"Fuck you, I'll get who I want to. I just happen to feel like kickin' the little girl's ass." I said.

"Oh really? You think some pink haired girly girl can defeat me? Try it." she said with senbon in her hands.

"Oh? Well okay, then. PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled punching the ground near her feet.

The ground rumbled beneath her and she fell back.

I jumped on top of her and began to repeatedly punch her in the face.

"You know? This is easier than I thought! And it's perfect! I've been waiting for a chance to sit back and just PUNCH TO MY HEART'S CONTENT!" I yelled, punching her on each side of the face. Sometimes switching to her gut.

She yelled in pain each time.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my ear. As I put my hands up against my ear, she shoved me off of her and kicked me away from her. I saw Lee lying on the ground.

"God damn it Lee." I said.

I got up and took my hand from my ear.

"You bitches think you can hurt me with sound? I'M UMEKO! AS CLOSE TO A SUPER HUMAN THERE IS! I'M GOD PERSONIFIED AND I SENTENCE YOU TO HELL A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!" I yelled.

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" I yelled making three of me.

All three of me smirked.

"PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" we all yelled rushing forward and punching the ground.

As the three fell back we all got identical whips out, snapping it around them.

"Fire Style: Dragon Flame Jutsu!" I said, blowing fire on my whip which rushed forward through my whip catching all three of them on fire.

My shadow clones then disappeared since I appeared to be almost out of chakra.

"So, tell me! Are you three flaming? Is the pain seeping through your bones forming a sensation of pain, burning, and torture!?" I said mockingly.

"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH GOD!" I yelled.

Then, suddenly the three of them popped.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed.

"UMEKO!" Sakura yelled.

I was grabbed by a black arm from behind.

I was held to where I couldn't move a muscle. There was an intense ringing going through my ears.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed in agony.

"Who's going through torture now, girlie?!" I heard.

* * *

**Sakura's POV**

It was hard to believe sometimes that Umeko was the younger twin. She was stronger than me, more confident than me, and better at everything, not including schoolwork.

She was amazing, I looked up to her, even though she should have been looking up to me. I was the older sister, I was the one that is supposed to protect her from everything. But I've done terrible. When I looked at her trapped with that damned ringing in her ears it made me angry. I was already pissed from what happened to Sasuke, Naruto, and Lee. But this, this right here, this was my limit. I love Sasuke, but blood is thicker than water. I could almost feel the pain my sister was feeling through her blood curdling scream.

No.

NO.

"CHA!" I yelled running as fast as I could forward and punching Dosu's weird sound arm band.

He glared at me than looked at his arm band.

It was severely dented with a fist print right in the middle of it.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" he yelled. He tried to punch me but I jumped back, throwing shuriken at him.

Suddenly Zaku was in front of Dosu and he made a wall of air, repelling my shuriken.

Then, I felt myself being forced on my knees.

That girl, Kin had me by my long hair.

"Lovely hair, so much more bounce and shine than mine has! What jutsu is that? Deep Conditioning no Jutsu? You're a disgrace to all ninja, fussing with your looks when you should be concentrating on your training!" Kin said.

It made me think back to my little sister, what she said with no care for feelings. Here I was hearing it all over again from a girl who didn't even know me.

_'She's right...'_

"Zaku... Why don't you finish Sasuke or maybe her other pink haired friend. Right in front of the love sick little least we can do is entertain her." Kin said.

"Ha! Good one!" Zaku commented.

_'I can't. I'm just a burden to them. Just someone they haave to protect! I never help! All I do is hurt people. Be useless. I care about them all. Even Naruto, even Umeko... Even if I've done a thing for her. She helped me train, after I abandoned her. If I give up, if I don't help the people I care about. It's the same as abandoning them. I'll never abandon anyone again. I'm going to be different. I need to help the people I love!'_ I thought with tears running down my face.

I gripped my kunai tightly.

"Your tricks are useless against me, little girl." Kin said.

"You think so? Think again, you dirty bitch!" I said cutting my hair out of Kin's grasp.

_'I'd always thought of myself as a full-fledged ninja. Equal with my teammates. Crushing on Sasuke, Scolding Naruto. Watching them safely from the background. While they would both risk anything to protect me. Lee says he likes me too. He risked his life to come between me and danger. And Umeko, my precious sister. While I've never did a thing for her. Never even given her a birthday present, she helped me. Risked her life for me, after I abandoned her and left her alone. She had no friends, she only had me. The only one that was there for her. She still helped me. You're all my teachers and you've shown me what I want to be... Like you... All of you. **Now it's your turn to watch my back!'**_

* * *

Oh my god! I am kind of emotional right now, just from writing this. It's like it's not sad or anything, but it just gives me a feeling of... I don't know. Empowerment. Like Sakura over here is actually redeeming herself! Yes! And she will be different after this experience, I hope. HAHAHA! It's not like I plan or anything, cause I don't.

* * *

SatsuUzumaki: I was thinking for Hinata, Sunflower Strike, because her name can mean sunflower... You know me, all combining suggestions and stuffz. But I feel like one of my reviewers will have a better idea. And, I can't tell you... Spoilziez and stuffz.

Bloodshot111: Sorry! That chapter I kind of forced myself to do, because I wanted to get to this one (I'm excited about this one like seriously). So, if your too confused, will you tell me so that I can explain better maybe in a PM or next chapter A/N. Kay? ^-^

NoIdea135: I know for sure I wanna use Strike (I've had two reviewers use strike) What do you think of Sunflower Strike? I explained why for that one on the first response I did this chapter.

Counting Sinful Stars: YES! YESYESYES! I tried so hard to make a Mary Sue but it was like. It's hard to do it on purpose! It was like I knew the cliché stuff, but I suck with cliché (call me a hipster if you will, but I'm not... I read Naruto for crying out loud... NEVERMIND) And what do you think of Sunflower Strike? I wanna use strike so baaaad!

**Umeko: That damn Mari is a bitch. She needs to go choke on dat sand. Hmph.**

Gueststar: So I successfully made Mari unlikable?! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Is she Mary-Sue-ish? I named her Mari for a reason XD (Mari=Mary) TEEHEE

**Umeko: Why are you hiding under a bed? That idiot author woman can't think of anything all that good anyway...**

Legendz25: Mari? Because I wanted everyone to hate her... I was expecting a bunch of 'I HATE MARI! SHE NEEDS TA GTFO! ASDFJKL;FDFKAJGFJLVFFGFDGKF' I got a bit of that, but nothing too bad, because my reviewers are hilarious! XD And thanks Legendz! Means a lot!

**Madarra9999: Sorry, Suzume is my servant. I changed her name to Nail. Now when I rule the world I can be like Super Kami Guru! And _I'm the ruler of the world... Forever AND EVER BWUHAHAHAHAHA!_**

Please excuse her, she accepts. (Good luck)

**MADARRA9999! GATHER THE DRAGON BALLS AND WISH FOR ME A PLASMA TV!**

Wrong universe, Umeko.. Wrong universe...

Anon-chan: Wow! Thanks for all the reviews! So now to answering all of them. YES! MAKOTO IS JUST SO ADORABLE! If I met him he would faint because I would glomp him. Glomp him so hard. Yup. Just through in a sexual innuendo while talking about a 12 year old. _I'm disgusting (15 year old, go figure). _And frankly, Umeko and Sakura's parents are very tolerant. But, I think the only reason Umeko hasn't been knocked out/kicked out is because her Dad's there for her. And YES ANOTHER MARI HATER! (I am on the Die Mari Train too!)

**Umeko: CHOO CHOO MOTHER FUCKERS!**

EasilyAddictedGirl: Spoiler, she is the rival. And I believe you'll be getting to know her better either next chapter or the chapter after. It depends on whether I want to do like an Omake about her or not. And Gaara's amazing! Gaara is love, Gaara is life. Not Shrek. It's the Kazekage with the love tattoo! XD

Bacon of Doom: UMEKOOOOOO! WE HAVE ANOTHER ONE ON THE DIE MARI TRAIN!

**Umeko: CHOO CHOO MOTHER FUCKERS!**

I was thinking Sunflower Strike combining what you said with what a few other said.

* * *

**Umeko: Hey, BakaChan is too chicken to ask you if she should play Homestuck. She just started and is confused and doesn't know if she should continue. So, yeah...**

BakaChan: Don't do it! That fandom! It's everywhere! It's like Hetalia on Tumblr! Not that I'm complaining... I love me some Hetalia...


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